From the author: published on Happy children are healthy. They are loved at home, respected at school, they are interested in living and studying. If a child begins to get sick often or behave badly, it means that something in his world has become unfavorable. Perhaps he lacks manifestations of love and care at home, dad and mom are not pay him enough attention. Or someone at school, among friends, contributed to a decrease in his self-esteem. Something unpleasant happened in his life and he, not knowing how to solve the problem, goes into illness, or, wanting attention to himself, begins to behave badly. A classic case that is cited in teaching psychology students. Dad works a lot and is rarely at home; he does not pay attention to his wife and son. The son runs away from home. Dad returns to mom, they unite and actively communicate, look for their son, find him, scold him, show increased attention to him and each other. This attention can be either positive or negative, but it is there. Everyone gets enough of the communication and lives peacefully for some time. Then dad is again more and more late at work, and history repeats itself. The second classic case. A second child is born in the family. The first child unexpectedly becomes big, mature and, as it seems to him, unloved. Here, older children show a variety of creativity: they become primitively ill, begin to behave as the younger “favorite” child behaves, become mischievous, etc. At the same time, a child can “play” with the disease so much that it becomes a direct threat to his health, and sometimes his life. The third classic case. Triangulation of the child. Mom and dad are in a period of cooling in their relationship, or one of the parents is having an affair. The second spouse, more attached to the family, begins to look for a reason for the return of the “prodigal parrot” to the family. The child, having compassion for the abandoned spouse, begins to get sick or behave inappropriately. The abandoned spouse returns to the family to solve the problem. The fourth classic case. The disease is “beneficial” A child has learning difficulties, and he has a test coming up, he is afraid that he will not be able to solve it. Some children make an effort: they drink cold water, eat ice cream on the street in winter, etc., others get sick without effort, their nausea, dizziness and headache, dyspepsia begins. There are many options. These children do not overcome fear, but manipulate themselves to avoid an unpleasant event or interaction. If your child is sick or misbehaving, try to find out if he has a “secondary benefit” from his illness or misbehavior. Pay attention to how you - the child's parents or grandmothers - react to his illness. Frequent questions: “Are you sick?”, “Show me your throat, is it not red?”, “How are you feeling?” already oriented toward illness, the desire to rest, and to receive additional attention from loved ones. Dear Parents! Draw the appropriate conclusions and decide whether the child needs to be sick in order to feel your attention and care or to solve a family problem. Are you really ready to keep your child healthy? If similar problems arise in your family, please contact our Sventana Center. Experienced psychologists will work with you to develop a constructive model of family relationships and help your child solve interaction problems at school. Be healthy and happy. Director of the Sventana Center - Bobrova Galina Kirillovna