From the author: The article was written for the website If a child has negative, sharp reactions to children in kindergarten, bedwetting (enuresis), sometimes gets his pants dirty (encopresis), exhibits harsh emotional behavior when asked mother, or insists on her desires in a negative emotional form.... It is useful to learn about the following: It is very important in the process of raising a child to remember that his body and psyche are in a stage of constant development and change. Consequently, it is necessary to refuse to assign “labels” to the child; it is strictly forbidden to tease, call names or invent nicknames because of his behavior and physiological manifestations as constantly and forever inherent in him. This means that if a son or daughter today showed his negative emotions and behaved somehow sharply, then this is a manifestation of only today or the present period of his life. In subsequent days or periods of development, the child can and will (subject to your adequate parental reaction) develop positive qualities and manifestations in behavior, as well as useful habits. The first and main are your parental adequate reactions to the difficulties and difficulties that you and the child are facing meet daily should be: = understanding (situations often occur with children, the reason for which they are not able to guess due to their age), = calmness and prudence (if you notice that you are irritated by the child’s behavior and cannot cope with emotions, then first restore your emotional state, and then you can talk with your son or daughter in simple, understandable language), = sympathy and patience (without extreme pity or a complaining attitude towards the child; you can say that you love him (her) and want to help, suggest, offer to do it together, or firmly but peacefully inform that now you do not have the opportunity to fulfill his request, while informing him that “you understand how he is worried, but sometimes it is useful to wait” or “put it off until later” - build phrases here based on from situations) = trust and faith (give up total control, let these be quiet reminders, for example, if you want to remind your baby that it’s time to go to the toilet or you need to check if your pants are clean, do it quietly and carefully, so that those around you do their own affairs, and you did it quietly with your son, then it’s time to do it. It is very important to trust your son, to believe that he will be able to cope with the difficulty that has arisen, even if you see that he has been having failures for several days; tell him “I believe you can do it”) = support (it is important to praise the child for what he managed to do. Even if it seems to you that this is a very small achievement. In fact, it is for the child that these are great achievements: for example, he (she) tied his shoelace, asked to go to the toilet on time, told you about the quarrel and honestly admitted something, helped you in the kitchen, helped you find the tool that dad was looking for, or patiently waited for mom in the store, brought a craft from kindergarten, on time went to bed without whims...and many more similar situations, in each of which the child shows the rudiments of strong-willed behavior, diligence, creativity, organization, help, culture of behavior - all this, with support and praise, is collected in his piggy bank of success and is the foundation for his personal development), As a result of daytime experiences due to your failures, changes in emotional states, including due to a large amount of dissatisfaction with you, bedwetting is a kind of release, stress relief. Since negative experiences during the day lead to physical and emotional fatigue and tension, the child sleeps soundly and does not have time to wake up and respond to the urge of the bladder. Therefore, it is necessary to give up liquids four hours before bedtime, including vegetables and fruits containing large amounts of it: watermelons, tomatoes, cucumbers, grapes, etc. If the child asks to drink, give him a sip of water or two slicesorange, a slice of apple, pear. It is also necessary to remove the oilcloth from the bed and calmly respond to the baby getting up at night. It is necessary to return him to bed if he suddenly wakes up at night. Let the child clean up wet laundry himself. This will support his willingness to change the situation with unpleasant emotions about urinary incontinence. Before going to bed, when the baby is already in bed, the following is useful: invite him (her) to carefully bend the fingers of his left hand with his right hand and vigorously straighten them. At the same time, explain to him: “In this way, you will force the “watchman” in your head to make sure that the collars of the bladder do not open in bed, and you will sleep dry all night...” If the child still wets himself, he is encouraged: “Nothing, This happens to many people in childhood, don’t be upset, you’re smart, you’ll be cured, maybe you’ll wake up the next night or be patient.” Be patient with your child's nightly mishaps. Every evening before going to bed, help him with these tips and you will notice the appearance of favorable changes. When the first improvements appear, continue to remind your son (daughter) about the “watchman” in a less capacious mode, and in the future simply remind: “If you want to go potty at night, wake up and ask or wait until the morning, but the bed must be dry.” You can ask your child when a dry bed feels good and whether he likes it. Then agree that it’s nice, and that he’s doing well, he’s growing and he’s doing better. Fecal incontinence, or encopresis, can begin at any age and is often combined with enuresis. This is not accidental, since there is much in common between the two types of disorders: the same origin factors, lack of positive parental feelings. Fecal incontinence is usually observed during the day during play or a walk, when the natural urge is suppressed, and then, carried away, the child completely forgets about the need to go to the toilet and does not feel an involuntary bowel movement. In addition, the urge to defecate can be too intense and fast, especially in a state of emotional and physical excitability. Or this happens in stressful situations: worries, fears, surprises. The tactics of reactions should be the same as for urinary incontinence. Understanding, empathy, toilet habit reminders. Praise when the child takes the initiative to go to the toilet or you hear about it from the teacher (for example, he got up at a sleepy hour and went to the toilet). In situations where the child shows tantrums or reacts strongly negatively to your comments or requests, speak in a calm tone , repeating your request (without shouting or indignation, otherwise it will only worsen the situation). After the baby calms down, tell him the reason for your request and explain why he needs to do this. Make short pauses in your conversation so that your son (daughter) can understand what you are talking about. Then ask him what needs to be done and how he will do it (let him speak as he understands, refuse the memorized repetition of your request). The main thing is to make sure that the child understands you. Praise. After the child does it, pay attention to what he (she) did, and if there are mistakes, tell him something like this: “... but here you can correct it a little more, if you want me I’ll help” or “let’s make a little correction here together, you will do it, and I’ll give you hints” or “here we still need to finish it, look - this is better, remember? Well done". In cases where a son (daughter) shows aggression or an extremely negative reaction towards others, it is advisable to find out the content of the situation itself. If you yourself have witnessed such behavior from your son, then pay attention to the child to whom he (she) directed his reactions. It is necessary to give attention to the one whom he offended and, if possible, attract the attention of the child in order to feel sorry for the offended person. If he sharply refuses this, then simply show him that such behavior causes unpleasant feelings in the other child and may cause physical pain (if, for example, it was a blow, or the other child fell). If in +79146739107