Victims - skillful manipulators or losers How often can we meet those who complain about everything that happens around them, while sitting at their old job and doing nothing, complaining about their health and continuing to eat junk food, criticizes himself and doesn’t change anything, isn’t it familiar? This behavior has a psychological term - a victim complex. The victim complex is generated by a large number of reasons and affects deep layers of your personality. This includes distrust of the world, lack of parental love and care, shifting responsibility to others and inability to take it upon oneself, abnormal anxiety of parents and much more. A victim can be recognized by the following criteria: infantility and emotional immaturity, very low level of awareness, desire to take responsibility for yourself and your life, do not take personal responsibility for everything that happens to you. The victim shows irresponsibility, lack of independence, often gets offended, demonstrates a “sincere” lack of understanding of what it is not beneficial for her to understand, so as not to have to do it herself. And since she herself is not able to provide support to herself, she feels lost, abandoned and deceived. Often whining, pessimistic and helpless. She attracts attention and care by “singing complaints,” and sometimes by invented diseases, which then actually appear in the form of psychosomatic diseases. Very often she is in a depressed state, she is always immersed headlong in such painful and painful experiences as melancholy, sadness, despair, unhappiness, depression and rejection. It is almost impossible to stop her from complaining - she is offended and offended by your comments. The role of the victim has become quite familiar and would not be so widespread if it did not have a number of benefits. In our society, parasitism is cultivated in the most unlimited form. The manifestations of parasitism within society are varied. The victim will never want to leave this role voluntarily - it is 200% beneficial to her. The victim never admits that she plays the role of the victim, because for her this is not a role, but her whole life. The world of the victim-manipulator is so limited that she sees nothing but herself. All that matters to her is that others live up to her expectations and are manipulated. The victim is never completely satisfied, she is either furious that her manipulation is ruined, or she is disappointed that you are not playing her games with one hundred percent dedication. Paradoxical as it may seem, being a victim in certain circumstances or in certain sometimes it is more profitable for a circle of people. There are problems that prevent us from doing what we want. And there are problems that help us not do what we don’t want. This is called secondary benefit. For example, if you have eczema on your hands, then this is a great reason to never wash the dishes. If you have a cold, you don’t have to go for a walk with the dog in any weather. And if you are the mother of three small children, then in the next few years you don’t have to worry about the difficulties of career growth. Concern for your elderly parents does not allow you to leave their home or go far from them and face the difficulties of independent life. There are several favorite tricks that victims use everywhere: - Appeal to your pity, feelings of guilt or duty. Of course, you should pay attention to your husband and help your colleagues, but not to the detriment of your interests, plans and your free time. Try to decline another request, citing urgent matters. Explain to the person asking when you will be free or how much you can help now. - Self-deprecation. Many people resort to this method of manipulation. Openly talking about their shortcomings and inabilities, they do not look for solutions, but seek help where they can cope on their own, receiving your attention, participation and direct solution to their problems. On the one hand, the “victims” are incredibly virtuoso.