At the age of 18-21, it’s time to go out with your things. This is the most suitable age to become independent and build relationships with parents like “I’m an adult and you’re an adult.” The very first separation occurs when the child breaks away from the mother’s breast and becomes “independent.” But let’s remember this reaction when this separation occurs ... the child cries, is hysterical, tries all the time to return back to the usual food, warmth, does not want to move away, because it’s safer for him, because his mother is nearby. It’s the same in adult life... And even if you do not depend financially on your parents, then No one has yet canceled the emotional one, but it is much stronger. The most important thing is not to grow cold and distant, but to accept that parents are adults with their own lives and experiences, just like me. The first time after separation (breaking a dependent relationship with your parents), your relationship may deteriorate - do not be alarmed. This is not always the case, but it happens. It is difficult for parents to let their children go free. And it’s also difficult for children to start adult life. But if you don’t do this, you will always be in a child’s position. How this will manifest itself: ✔ Problems in your personal life (if you were unable to build an adult relationship with your parents, then in your personal life you will adhere to the same model - quarrels, insults, feelings of guilt, constant expectations from your partner that he himself must guess , what you want)✔ Unfulfillment at work (you have no motivation and desire to show up if your parents provide for you or give you a loan/help)✔ Difficult relationships in society (it’s hard to perceive the world as it is when our parents are a speck of dust on us blow away, groom and cherish) Below is a mini-self-diagnosis, analyze whether this applies to you, so that you understand whether you have been separated from your parents 👉🏼 And in the comments, share how this process went for you? What has changed in your life after separation? How to understand that there is no separation: - Parents give advice and it infuriates you - Parents get into your personal belongings, correspondence, relationships, rooms, apartments, etc. - Parents call 3 times a day day and require return calls. Or you call 3 times a day to tell them how you are doing and ask for advice on how to prepare pasta - You are waiting for constant approval from your parents - Parents require constant participation in their lives (carrying them, walking with them, buying them, giving them money, entertaining them). Or do you demand the same from them - You feel guilt and shame for your parents, their actions (or they for you) - You feel resentment towards your parents: they didn’t give, they didn’t raise, they didn’t love, they didn’t love like that, they didn’t give like that - You wait from parents that they will change, correct themselves, apologize and change their minds. If at 4 out of 8 points you thought “Oh, this is about me,” then your separation process is not complete. Or maybe it hasn’t even started. I understand how difficult it can be to refuse the help of your parents. But believe me, independent life is much more interesting and richer! Sign up with me for a free diagnostic session if it is difficult to build a harmonious relationship with your parents.