From the author: “It is human nature to value and desire above all else what he cannot achieve. "Z. Freud is 40, and she is still attached to her mother. In her affection, she is still that little girl who wants to see her happy...From childhood, the desire for her daughter was so strong that unconsciously it grew into a life goal. From the outside, she looked like a caring daughter: everything for mom, always for mom. To mom need to go to a friend's house? - “Of course, mom, I’ll put aside my business and organize a trip for you!” Does mom need something new? - “Oh, I understand you! Although I have outlined something for myself, it’s okay, I’ll be patient. I drop everything and rush to you to keep you company and not go shopping alone.” Mom wants a cake? - “Of course, dear! Just think, I’ll go to bed 2 hours later!” Does mom have a headache? - “God, what should we do?! How can I help her so that she doesn’t suffer?!” All life is around mom and for mom. And the neighbors, relatives... - how they spoke about the daughter’s love for her mother... This was a balm for the soul of a 40-year-old woman: “What a caring daughter you have raised!” " ;" How lucky you are, they care about you so much!”;” What a kind daughter you have!” - she heard all this more than once and such words only encouraged her to care even more... It’s so nice when others speak positively about you... Once upon a time she decided to devote her life to her mother. And I didn’t even think about marriage, about starting a family. She had only one desire that haunted her all her life: how to make her mother happy? And only when left alone with herself, sometimes, when the black night lowered its blanket over the noisy and seething city, she, sitting by the window and looking into the distance , suddenly began to experience a nagging feeling of annoyance and disappointment... And if she plunged further into her feelings, then she felt worse and worse... “No! Not this!!! It can't be that I hate her! I love my mother so much and I try to do everything for her alone!” This strong feeling of hatred is difficult for her even to admit to herself, let alone tell someone... Social stereotypes and religions prescribe to love your parents no matter what became. How can you hate the one who gave birth to you?! The one who gave life, who looked after and raised you?! Society and religions publicly and privately condemn negative feelings towards one's parents. “No, there is something wrong with me,” she thought to herself when she felt anger and irritation towards her mother. “Everyone loves their parents.” , I’m the only one so callous...” - she was tormented by her feelings, she scolded herself, but this only made her feel worse. And she again ran away from her such “interfering” feelings into even greater concern for her mother... She was driven by a feeling of guilt in front of her... Even for the fact that she experienced such “inappropriate” feelings, she was to blame. She is 40. She sits alone by the window and every year she understands more and more clearly that she will not be able to make her mother happy. She is still dissatisfied with her daughter, people, apartment, country, life... It seems that over the years the discontent has only increased. “I’m still to blame for everything…” - she thought with sadness and her shoulders sank... Tears rolled from her eyes, at first she cried quietly and silently, but the feelings overwhelmed her more and more and after a few minutes she was already crying bitterly. She cried that she forbade herself to hate the one who made her a puppet and used her whole life for her own benefit; she cried that she was already 40, and she didn’t even think about herself; cried about self-betrayal; she cried about the guilt that choked her and made her unfree; roared about the absurd desire to make her own mother happy... An hour or two passed... or an entire eternity... The tears subsided, her heart no longer ached... And now she suddenly suddenly realized that she herself needed help. Yes, she needs help - what's unusual about that? Tired of being strong and living only the life of a mother. That night she decided to start the path of change. Let it be long, because the main thing is to go. She was warmed by the fact that she saw a visual