More about attachment. Due to what it is possible and implemented in Gestalt therapy, including. How attachment exists. What remedies are there for her? In the lecture “Attachment from the point of view of Gestalt therapy” by Natalia Kedrova, she talks about four channels. 1. Body. Skin contact. The fact that an adult holds a child in his arms and thus warms him, calms him, feeds him, helps him take a pleasant, comfortable position, and the child also helps the adult take a comfortable position, somehow adapting to him. It is due to such a bodily addition that the first modality of contact arises - through the body (during the interaction of a child and a parent). And we can see how the child and the adult interact with each other on a bodily level. For example, a child does not look at an adult, but approaches him from behind or leans against him, takes him by the hand, or tries to hug him. Or, on the contrary, it tenses up and moves away. When for some reason the bodily addition did not occur. Maybe the mother is too rigid, the child needs a long time to take a comfortable position, he is uncomfortable. No matter how we turned, no matter how we twisted, there was still bodily discomfort. Getting support through this channel is difficult. It happens.2. Sight. An adult looks into the eyes of a child, a child looks into the eyes of an adult, and some kind of emotional attunement occurs. If at this moment there is a possibility of encountering some unbearable experience (fear, disappointment, disgust, anger), then it is better not to use this contact in order to hold, maintain the image of another person. Either it remains a blind spot or is filled with projections. For example, a mother is more excited than a child about some of his tests (be it a competition or a final concert), then it is better not to look at her alarmed face looking from the audience.) Here I will add a little from the book I am reading now ("Body remembers everything" B. Kolka), who prompted me to write this post that "we are all incredibly sensitive to the slightest emotional changes among the people around us (and animals). The slightest change in the tension of the brow ridge, wrinkles around the eyes, the bend of the lips, as well as." neck angles instantly let us know how comfortable, scary, calm or unpleasant other people are. Our mirror neurons pick up their internal sensations, and our own body adapts from the inside to everything we notice. This is how our own facial muscles let others know how much. whether we are calm or excited, whether our heart is beating slowly or quickly, and whether we are ready to hit them or run away. When we receive the signal from another person that “you are not in danger around me,” we relax. If we are lucky in our relationship, then we also feel support, a surge of strength and peace when we look into each other's faces and eyes." 3. Hand. So as not to fall, so that each other will take the other somewhere to stop. Or some kind of then it’s a new situation. You don’t exchange glances, but you hold hands. You know that the adult will not run away. That is, this is some kind of channel of consent and control, when the ability to control the other is already included in the attachment so that we can get somewhere. where we need to, we need to allow each other to control each other a little. These are the three channels through which attunement is built in. Attunement assumes that I am sensitive to myself and attentive to others. I do what is convenient for me, and wait for the other to find what is more convenient for him. And in this sense, then affection moves from such dependence to mutual respect and cooperation. 4. The word presupposes that one person speaks and the other understands. But we often come across the fact that by understanding people understand obedience. Then this also does not imply any doubt, dialogue, refusal, agreement. And the word is used as a kind of instruction to guide another person. And then the word has little effect on intimacy. Moms know that sometimes words don't help. Sometimes.