Article Ending a Difficult Relationship Human relationships are often difficult: an unsuccessful marriage, a failed partnership, a quarrel with a friend. And it seems like it was a very long time ago, but inside, like an unhealed wound, if you don’t touch it, it doesn’t hurt, if you touch it, it hurts. Statistics: every person has at least 3 serious unfinished relationships with a person from the past. How can you find out if there is an unfinished relationship?1. You often think about that person who is not next to you. Talk to him mentally. You have dreams involving this person. 2. You may become agitated if you see or hear anything about this person. 3. You repeat the scenario of communicating with this person over and over again with other people. You make the same mistakes. We also have difficulties when ending relationships with the dead. Memories, condemnation of ourselves and others, vengeful projects take all our energy, and emotional storms of unreacted emotions go into our illnesses and depressions. My soul hurts, my heart aches. In such situations, dangerous traps await us: 1 trap - the deification of a person from the past, a state of psycho-emotional dependence. Next to such a “divine phantom you become small, I am nobody, my name is nothing. 2 trap - the cultivation of resentment and hatred of the departed. Removing responsibility from oneself and shifting it to others. Resentment is a deadly poison for the soul. Behind the offense there are always stronger feelings (Anger). But we are more accustomed to being offended than to express true feelings, because in childhood, in order to be loved, we had to meet the expectations of our parents - to be “good boys and girls.” 3 trap - fears and beliefs that destroy your life It is difficult for us to part with things, but with convictions it is completely impossible. - I am an insignificant person - no one needs me - I am mediocre One of the frequent motives for breaking up is the dream of a new partner - a better one - a “prince” or “princess”. Although the relationship with the previous partner is not yet complete, it is difficult to build a full-fledged relationship with the new partner. In a new relationship, you will continue to play according to the old scenario and will come across the same rake that you always “carry with you.” Incomplete relationships can also be the reasons for loneliness. The opposite sex reads us in space, especially women, as not free, and therefore shuns us. Of course, the most effective way to work through unfinished relationships is to do it in therapy sessions, but if you are not ready for this now, there is technology for independent work. The best and An easy way to end a relationship is to talk openly with the other person. Explain that you want to break up, why you want to break up, express your feelings and be sure to thank the other for all the good that was done. If you do not have the opportunity to meet with this person, then The following technique is suitable: You take and place an empty chair in front of you and imagine this person on this chair. Allow yourself to talk openly and honestly with him and express all the feelings that overwhelm you. Express your anger openly, scream, cry, you can take a broom or some object and hit a chair. The most important thing is that all tension goes away from within. There is such a good method for ending a relationship as a personal letter to the person you broke up with. Working on a letter includes several stages: 1. Express your emotions. You need to express all your feelings towards your ex-partner - not in general, but on specific occasions. That is, not: “I’m angry at you because you ruined my life,” but “I’m angry at you because you yelled at me then and then... didn’t warn me when you were late... flirted with my friend in front of me...”, etc.2. To apologize. It is also important to ask not in the abstract, like: “Forgive me for being a bad husband,” but for specific actions that you really regret.3. Forgive. Here you also need to be well aware of what exactly you are a person for..