Psychologist Irina Solovyova specially for the magazine "Our Psychology" I'll be honest, I'm a fan of "Sex and the City" (and the film of the same name, respectively) about the lives of four friends in New York. Moreover, she is a fan – both as a woman and as a psychologist... Firstly, in “Sex and the City” the topic of female friendship is finally raised. Usually, cinema glorifies “strong male friendship” with “your guy”, with whom “you can go on reconnaissance.” But the most you can go with a friend is to a winter collection sale, and the only thing that can unite women is successful shopping... Relationships between women are often seen as superficial or competitive, hiding a catch. As in the fairy tale about the snake and the turtle: The turtle carries the snake across the river. The snake thinks: “If it throws me off, I’ll bite.” The turtle thinks: “If he bites, I’ll throw him off.” But friendships with other women are no less important than a connection with a man. And the more successful woman is not the one who invests all of herself in love and family, but the one who also has the support of her friends. As the main character said in one of the episodes of Sex and the City: “It’s nice to walk down the street hugging the man you love.” But sometimes it’s great to go to the movies with your girlfriends! Secondly, “Sex and the City” raises important topics in gender relations, which, despite the title of the film, are not limited to sex. As for the title, “translation difficulties” played a role here: the English “sex” means both “sexual intercourse” and “sex”, “gender.” Therefore, the series touches on a variety of issues related to gender and is not only relevant in the “big city”: is it possible to have a harmonious relationship with a man shorter than you, or will it make itself felt? Is it worth showing jealousy? If you don't reciprocate, is it better to say so directly or just avoid communication? Can a woman be the first to say about her feelings? Do love relationships survive if competition appears in the professional sphere?.. And finally, the images of the four heroines themselves, contrasting both externally and internally. In many ways, it was they who determined the popularity of the series and the films that followed it, on both sides of the ocean. But isn’t their secret that these images go back to the archetypal level (deep Unconscious)? These are not just 4 heroines of the series - these are 4 hypostases that live in each of the women. Harmony between them is important - so that these inner women are friends with each other, like the heroines of the series... But one or another hypostasis can prevail in each of us - and we are not free to choose, this is determined by the external circumstances that shape us. That is, initially we have Carrie, Samantha, Charlotte, and Miranda, but some of them play the first role, and the rest complement. But if one of the hypostases sits behind the scenes, then this will lead to an internal split, disharmony... A person never belongs to any one psychotype - but we can talk about a leading psychotype. Psychotype “Charlotte.” A “good girl” is usually the only child from an intelligent and/or wealthy family. She is distinguished by a sweet, neat, even slightly doll-like appearance, ideal manners, and has a good education. The voice is high, gentle, a little childish. In clothes he prefers light (“innocent”) colors, creates a romantic image, and can decorate himself with images of butterflies or flowers (hairpins, brooches, tattoos...). Polite: she will never forget to congratulate you on the holiday and will do it in accordance with all the laws of etiquette. She chooses a profession that is close to beauty and art (Charlotte in the film is an art critic), or one where she will receive a lot of attention (she often goes on stage). “Charlotte” is a kind of princess, not just beloved, but “loved” by her parents. On the one hand, she receives a lot of warmth and care from the family and goes through life with an open heart, giving warmth to others. On the other hand, parents spoil their daughter and create inflated demands on their partner. She's not even waitinga handsome prince - compared to the father-king, he will lose by definition: she needs another king, no less... This psychotype is formed at the age of 3-4 years and, in fact, remains a child. This has its pros and cons. Charlotte's strengths: she is kind, sweet, gentle, decent, and a loyal friend. She has her own ideals (though often naive), in which she does not lose faith, and her own value system, which she follows. Cons: infantilism, excessive demands and evaluative attitude towards others, selfishness. And besides, the “correct” upbringing she received creates a narrow outlook and prevents her from gaining new, unusual experiences that could be useful. Who will be her chosen one? Since she is waiting for the “king,” her demands are too high. As in the joke, it should be “Master of Sports Colonel Chingachgook.” At the same time, “Charlotte” focuses on external, not internal qualities: handsome, wealthy, from a good family, educated, with manners, a prestigious job... If a candidate for husband does not meet at least one of the points, then he is crossed off from the list: so, Charlotte in the series, she breaks off the relationship immediately, right in the store, because the man chose the wrong set, thereby showing bad taste... Therefore, the task that “Charlotte” faces is to grow up and learn to accept a person for who he is. To love not for something, but just like that, and not to demand a man’s love, but to accept it with gratitude. So Charlotte in the series found her love only when this internal transformation happened to her. Her chosen one turned out to be diametrically opposed to the stereotyped ideal: an ordinary lawyer, overweight and bald, but with an amazing sense of humor, caring, and able to love. But she, in accordance with her psychotype, begins to demand: “I have done so much for you - marry me!” He leaves and returns only when she says: “I don’t care whether you marry me or not. I just want to be with you.” Fairy tales with the following plot also speak about this psychotype and the lesson that he must learn. The king, in anger, gives his proud daughter to a traveler (or swineherd, blacksmith...). Resigned to her fate, she suddenly realizes that she loves her commoner husband - and at that moment he turns into the ruler of a neighboring kingdom... The fairy tale is a lie, but there is a hint in it: “Charlotte” should not wait for a handsome prince, but see the good that is in a real man, then he will become the only one for her... Other famous film images related to this psychotype: the heroines of Larisa Guzeeva in “Hard Romance”, Audrey Hopborn in “Roman Holiday”, the princess in “The Town Musicians of Bremen”... Psychotype “Samantha”. The opposite of “Charlotte” is a seductress, a femme fatale. Attracts the attention of men with sexy clothes, seductive behavior and vibes that cannot be depicted in any way - they are either there or not. “Samantha” has them. Strengths: liberation, self-confidence, the ability to look at life without embellishment, to call a spade a spade, knowing what she wants, and the ability to achieve a goal. Cons: closed heart, that is, a reluctance to establish a heartfelt connection, so-called intimate phobia - and behind this lies a distrust of men. This is connected with the story of “Samantha.” It’s not for nothing that they say that “A cynic is a tired romantic.” Today's "Samantha" can turn out from yesterday's "Charlotte" if she is wounded in the heart and becomes disappointed in everything and everyone. From one extreme (complete trust) she will move to the other (absolute distrust). Her father can form “Samantha” if he experiences an unconscious incestuous attraction to her. This happens especially often in families where the husband is sexually dissatisfied. In this case, he secretly seduces his daughter, thus relieving the tension. For example, “not noticing” that “the girl has matured”, he continues to physically caress her, as he did in childhood. So, one of my clients recalled how her father tried to go into the bathtub when she was naked, with the words: “Well, I bathed you as a child - what didn’t I see there!” And the client at that time was alreadystudied at the institute...Also, a father can make comments when watching TV together that a daughter should not hear from her father’s lips: “Wow! What buffers!” Or, of all the daughter’s qualities, constantly emphasize sexuality: “Men will go crazy over her!” But “Samantha” can also form in adulthood if she feels betrayed by a man. Well, as if Tatyana was offended by Onegin and went to Paris to pursue a career as a courtesan... A similar story happened with the movie Samantha: she was once abandoned by the man she loved, and since then she has been afraid of a serious relationship. Samantha’s task: to learn trust, open your heart to relationships. This is what happened to the heroine of the series. A young man falls in love with her and becomes a devoted friend. At first, Samantha doesn’t trust him: they are walking down the street, he wants to take her hand, but she is so scared that when she jumps away, she even injures her leg - and then she is forced to accept the invitation to lean on him. And gradually her friend gains trust: together they go through her serious illness... Another film image that clearly represents this psychotype: the heroine of “Basic Instinct”. Psychotype “Miranda”. If the two previous psychotypes live in relationships (“Charlotte” romantic, “Samantha” sexual), then for the woman “Miranda” work comes first. Both this psychotype and the movie Miranda actually have a bad relationship with their mother . Namely, it is in contact with our mother that our emotions develop. Therefore, “Miranda’s” feelings are closed, and she lives with her head. This is both a plus and a minus. She is reasonable, rational, responsible, disciplined. But at the same time, she is afraid of feelings - her own and those of others, runs away to work and underestimates herself as a woman (in one of the episodes Miranda is surprised: “I’m wearing an old T-shirt, but he called me attractive!”). “Miranda” is distinguished by a business or sports style of clothing . Outwardly, she does not emphasize her femininity in any way - on the contrary, she strives to hide it, becoming asexual or masculine: a trouser suit, a tie... This psychotype is formed by cold, demanding parents. "Miranda" is often an unwanted child who is perceived as a nuisance. Often a family was expecting a boy and was disappointed when a girl appeared. The parents did not accept their daughter, did not give her warmth, did not see a little woman in her. If they paid attention to her, it was about her studies, classes... And they demanded success from their daughter: a medal, a diploma with honors... Of course, the daughter tried to meet their expectations in order to at least get a little love. Therefore, in adulthood, “Miranda” continues this race for achievements, often reaching career heights - this is how she compensates for the lack of love... “Miranda” is a rejected daughter, therefore in her personal life she is constantly either rejected by a man, or rejects him herself. Her heart is closed, and she also does not allow other people to show feelings. Thus, the movie Miranda perceives a man’s sentimentality as weakness. “Miranda’s” task is to reveal her feelings, learn to hear and trust her heart, and allow herself to express her feelings. This is exactly how Miranda finds love in the series: for a long time she suffers from unrequited (as it seems to her) love, trying to replace the emotional connection with food or TV series... Finally, unable to bear it, she impulsively confesses her love - and finds out that she is also loved... With Who does “Miranda” see herself as? Yes, with no one - often it is the “Mirandas” who declare the institution of marriage “a relic of the past” and abandon the family. Or their chosen one is a kind of “business partner” with whom it is convenient to go through life (for example, opening a family business), and he is as cold as “Miranda” herself. In reality, she needs “her boyfriend” - accepting, cordial, not demanding. A man focused on family, not career. He helps “Miranda” get rid of excessive demands and open her heart. In cinema, this type is also represented by the image of Sandra Balok in the film “Miss Congeniality”. “Domestic analogue” - the heroine of “Office Romance”. Psychotype "Carrie". She is reflective, analytical, has a deep