A viscous, for some reason still socially shameful feeling is envy. No matter how hard they tried to understand him. They even divided it into colors, so that 50% can be felt. The other half, well, the darker one, seems to be the same, but this understanding is often only in the head. One of the funniest examples of explaining the types of envy is about a neighbor's cow: white envy, when I want the same cow as my neighbor, and black envy, when I want him to die. Everything would be fine, but how much pain, impossibility and powerlessness there is in the second case... There is no desire to achieve, gain experience, find your way. But experiencing this sensory layer becomes possible only through avoidance. And really, how to communicate with a person you can’t even look at. Only when I return my feelings, it turns out that I feel the same about myself. If we talk about the intensity of envy and the imposed prohibition, then vivid examples would be: - when the behavior of another is annoying; - “this was MY dream”; - “I love, but I can’t be happy for her/him, I can’t at all...” Irritation, anger and resentment in envy, in addition to the energy for a fierce fight (and this happens), also provide the opportunity to realize neediness and one’s desires. That's how useful this envy is. In the latter case, sometimes only pain remains. Here the desires are clear. They may have already been abandoned. The cow is no longer needed, let others simply not have it. Or this unpleasant neighbor will move somewhere. The standard self-help algorithm may not work: - realize envy, - understand and accept neediness, - outline further steps: what can I do to get what I want. In practice, overwhelming envy borders on despair. The feeling also seems forbidden. It’s already bad for a person; he also has to fight with himself, or even keep his face. Have you heard from many people: Am I really choking with envy? And this is completely normal, but unbearably difficult. Any feelings are normal, although many people find it hard to believe. After all, this requires trust. What about without intimacy? It is unlikely that this article will convince anyone, especially if they have heard the opposite all their lives. Personally familiar examples work better. Fortunately, there are more of them. Getting accepted can be quite a difficult task. After all, envy is sometimes shrouded in fear and shame. It is important to talk about it, to allow it to be. If this experience is shared with another person, then there is an option to grieve the impossible, and accept the new, and not even give up on those whom it was previously unbearable to look at.