Why is the opinion of other people so important to us? Why are some of us so sensitive to it? Moreover, these people are often far from significant and not close to us? When we do not have our own internal supports, we do not have our own idea of ​​ourselves, our characteristics, our talents, our imperfections, then we perceive any opinion from the outside as an important and the only true opinion about us. Why does this happen? Imagine a small child. He doesn't know what he is like. And in order to form some kind of idea about himself, he needs to be reflected by his parents. Reflection is one of the psychological functions of parents, which they begin to perform, one might say, from the very birth of the child. We tell the child what he is like, what he feels, we reflect (we speak out loud when communicating with him) his emotions, his feelings. We associate them with his thoughts, actions, deeds. For example, we tell him: “You are scared now because the dog barked too loudly.” “You are interested in how this toy works.” “You are upset that we will not go for a walk in the park today "."You were angry because I didn't give you this candy." "How smart you are, you assembled this mosaic yourself." "You're so attentive, you drew my attention to the fact that I forgot my umbrella and it's raining outside." "I I can trust you." "I'm proud of you, you were able to stand up for yourself." And thus, the child learns to understand himself, begins to know, feel what he is like. If all this does not happen in the child's relationship with his parents (and with any other significant adults, there may also be grandparents, uncles and aunts), then the child, willy-nilly, turns to other people around him. Just behind this reflection. As adults, we continue to do this. There is emptiness inside us. And there is nothing that we can rely on. There are no clear ideas about ourselves, what we are and what we are not. And then someone else’s opinion passes inside without a filter. Any person who reflects us becomes significant. And here our filters often don’t work: I take this opinion about myself, but I don’t take this. We believe everything we hear about ourselves. Healing in this case occurs through knowing ourselves. Studying myself, understanding who I really am and who I am not. What I like and what is imposed by society.