When I work with families, the main thing is relationships, primarily emotional ones, and the roles that each family member plays. Perceiving a child as an individual from his very birth is the key to success in raising and forming healthy relationships. Let it be a small person, a grown-up person, or almost an adult - it doesn’t matter. If you have accepted this commandment for yourself, then you will definitely trust your child and respect his decisions. You may ask, how to trust a child who doesn’t understand anything yet? It seems so to you because you are adults, brought up in a traditional system, and knowledgeable individuals. But, unfortunately, you do not yet know that a child is not born as a tabula rasa, a “blank slate,” but initially as a wise creature who knows himself well. He needs you, first of all, in order to get acquainted and get used to the world in which he finds himself. We also need to teach the child proper relationships and Love. What do some parents do most often? They satisfy their egoism, feed their own forgotten (“s” can be changed to “and” if desired) inner child, who received in childhood the same thing that they are now trying to give to their born children - disrespect, distrust, insincerity. “After all, an adult is an adult to know life better than a child,” they think. Life - yes, no doubt, but not your own child. How does a baby know what he wants to eat? Why does his tummy hurt? What does he want: fresh air or mother's affection? Is he hot or cold? He knows everything. This was given to him by God, by nature...Parents are always grown children. Always. There is no other option. This is how it was eternity before us and this is how it will be...Do you remember this? Or does it already seem to you that you always wore this expensive suit, drove this prestigious car and held some kind of position? Is it possible to lie to yourself? In my opinion, this is the most terrible crime against one’s own personality. And we do this all the time, we were taught this. This young man in an expensive suit is a promising financier (who is he giving to?), he lies to himself that this is the best option for him for the further development of his life. He forgot...or doesn’t want to remember?..what joy communication with colors (animals, pieces of iron, etc. - underline as necessary) brings him. At first, his parents kept telling him “this is better for you,” and then he learned on his own. But the inability to be honest with oneself is just the beginning. Every adult has not only a wealth of experience and a worthy set of positive qualities, but also a lot of complexes and emotional problems. By the way, a lack of honesty prevents us from realizing many of them. And then a miracle happens: such a contradictory person gives birth to her own child and begins to raise him. And when he fails, he comes to a psychologist and suggests: “my son is disobedient (withdrawn, aggressive, fearful, etc.) - do something with him.” Such a parent is afraid, first of all, of losing control and deep down he understands that for some reason unknown to him he is incompetent in the process of education. In this way he satisfies his own need for security. Often a psychologist is asked to find out some secret from a child, but he himself fails. How to teach a child not to be afraid of intimacy in a relationship if you yourself are afraid of it, if you yourself do not know how to share your feelings, your inner experience with loved ones? How to give him the joy of communication if you yourself are endlessly lonely even in a large crowd? Make decisions and take responsibility for your own destiny if you haven’t learned it yourself and can only decide for someone else? The most common complaints of parents are the fears, aggressiveness and isolation of their children. In the last decade, hyperactivity has been added, and now parents and teachers very often use this term, calling hyperactive those healthy and cheerful children who somehow interfere with their calm adult life. Fear, like other negative emotions (anger, sadness, etc.) .), is not clearly “harmful” for the child..