It is believed that one can marry either for love or for convenience. Practice shows that marriage is of convenience, i.e. based on a contract, exists for a long time. If future spouses are sure that all they need for marriage is love, or rather, falling in love, then this relationship quickly falls apart. Which option you choose does not matter, because without working on your soul, no matter how trivial it may sound, wives and husbands in both marriages are unhappy. Why does this happen? The fact is that a person is given such a wonderful state of love in order to see his divine essence in the partner. For a person in love, his partner is an ideal: he is extraordinary, the only one, the most beautiful and the most talented. He is God. And the desire to be near him, to see, hear and feel him overshadows all other everyday and unworthy little things. Two people in love decide to be together, but how this happens is no longer important, because they love each other. But, as you know, only fairy tales end with a wedding, but in life everything is just beginning. The honeymoon flies by quickly. This is what it is called: “month”. In fact, conflict-free, harmonious relationships last up to about two weeks. And then relatives and friends interfere in the lives of the young people with endless advice and provocations. They also have to decide who will cook and clean today. The veil of love falls from the eyes, the deity leaves the stage, and in his place the young wife finds next to her a snoring man, behind whom she lifts up her dirty socks, and who expects from her the same delicious borscht as his mother. He, in turn, instead of a cheerful, good-natured girl, sees a face that is always dissatisfied with something, announcing a rather large list of claims and accusations against him. And then it seems that the young people begin to understand that they were in a hurry with marriage, but it turns out that falling in love was quite enough to conceive a child, and soon they will have another family member, and with him new problems growing in geometric progression. All. Falling in love did its job. Falling in love is no longer needed. What's next? And then much will depend on the development of such personality traits of both spouses that would allow each day to support the discovery of new manifestations of the divine essence of their partner, which, in fact, has not gone away. But this is already a lot of painstaking work: to show interest, humility, respect, gratitude, faith and love towards each other. How can these qualities be developed when so much resentment, anger and claims have already accumulated, both towards the husband and his mother, that humility and gratitude simply cannot be approached? This is where a mediator between husband and wife can help, with the help of which you can defuse your negative feelings and begin to negotiate with each other. A psychologist, a psychotherapist, a spiritual mentor, or a church minister can act as a mediator. If we return to arranged marriages, it becomes clear why they are quite strong. After all, the state of falling in love, which turned a blind eye to the partner, was not initially there, and therefore the mind acted clearly, logically and rationally. Relationships can be truly conflict-free, but the need for love requires an outlet. This means that all the same, on one side or the other, there will be attempts to start a relationship with another partner and get from him what is missing in marriage. Together with Yulia Vasyukova