“I will smother you in my arms, I will do everything you want, I will cook your favorite breakfast every day, I will be so close and make you my life.” Women who love very much... Most often, such women come to a psychologist with the request “How can I make him love me as much as I love him?” To cling to a loved one with a death grip - this reveals a huge internal deficit, which women, unfortunately, do not realize. They think they are loving, but in reality they are needy. Where does this shortage come from? The psyche recognizes a total lack of understanding of boundaries and such close interaction (which most likely happened in childhood) as the norm. A person wants to get as close as possible to another, be it a partner or a child. Most often, a woman thinks like a child and it is based on childhood anxiety. The prevailing fear is that the object of adoration will go somewhere and never return, and she is ready to do anything to avoid this. She lives as if in another reality and is in a vicious circle. That is, she seems to understand that she is “suffocating” with her love, this irritates her even more, the man resists, rejects, pushes her away, but she can no longer do anything about herself, she is overcome by fear. She lives in enormous internal tension and resentment - as if she has nowhere to go, and this relationship is all they have. The treatment of this whole story begins with a turn towards oneself. What kind of stability, attention and love is missing that a woman is trying to cover her needs at the expense of another person, plugging this so-called “hole” with a man or a child? You need to have the courage to look at this “hole” and understand that there are problems with attachment and security. After all, she merges with her partner and reasons like this: “You can’t hurt me, because I am you.” The focus of attention in a relationship is not at all on love, it is completely shifted to survival. Survive and stay close. But the most important thing is to understand what you really need from this relationship and learn to hear yourself, your desires, listen to your body. What are you without him? Healing will begin with these questions. The entire endless flow of energy that a woman directs to her partner needs to be turned in her direction and made a source of her development. Every time a woman wants to do something for another, it is better to ask herself the question “What do I want now?” “What do I feel now?” A competent psychologist can help you deal with this issue. Book a consultation - Whatsapp 8-985 -044-06-56Psychologist Ekaterina Fedotova