I'm not a robot

CAPTCHA

Privacy - Terms

reCAPTCHA v4
Link



















Original text

From the author: This short note was written at the request of the Lifestyle magazine and is a commentary on the materials published in the autumn issue - these are two small articles demonstrating a male and female perspective on family problems life. They, it seems to me, present a collection of those stereotypical claims that spouses often make to each other. In the commentary, I tried to highlight points that usually escape the attention of the parties who are emotionally arguing and trying to prove that they are right. The articles themselves are available at the addresses and or in the October 2011 issue of the magazine. This short note was written at the request of the Lifestyle magazine and is a commentary on the materials published in the autumn issue - these are two short articles demonstrating a male and female perspective on the problems of family life. They, it seems to me, present a collection of those stereotypical claims that spouses often make to each other. In the commentary, I tried to highlight points that usually escape the attention of the parties who are emotionally arguing and trying to prove that they are right. The articles themselves are available at http://www.present-dv.ru/obraz/2011/7/2 and http http://www.present-dv.ru/obraz/2011/7/3 or in the October 2011 issue of the magazine. The first thing you think about when reading these articles, which seem to present two different views, is the complete coincidence of the author’s positions on all the main points. Point 1. He (she) never meets me, does not do what I really want , but does only what he (she) wants. An honest admission that, well, I, in general, do the same thing, of course, does not sound. Point 2. She (he) poisons my life. At the same time, the impression arises that the authors do not even suspect that this dance is performed by two people. And the question does not arise: what am I doing wrong? Point 3. All men (women) are the same. Women are “good women”, men are TV-watching subjects with intelligence inferior to that of a cat. Could it be, I ask myself, that the authors do not suspect that a particular man (a particular woman) may be very different from the average individual described in the scientific literature, and turn out to be completely different from the stereotype of mass publications and jokes? Point 4. The authors seem to believe that women and men are two separate species, not similar to each other in any way. But both of them are people, and nothing human is alien to them. Moreover, from differential psychology we know that men and women in general have far fewer differences psychologically than two individual women or two individual men can have (see point 3). Point 5. I know women (men). After which, any thoughts that prove the author’s correctness are attributed to the opposing side. Point 6. Minor manipulations in order to impart objectivity to one’s position. To be fair, being married prolongs life for both men and women. Compared to single people, married women have better indicators of mental health, and married men have better indicators of physical health. So, two irreconcilable, but absolutely identical positions that do not give a chance to agree, in which everyone sees only their own need and their pain, showing no interest in desires and feelings of those who are nearby. So, is there no life after marriage? There really is. The majority of those who married for love or due to similar interests are satisfied with their marriage, statistics say (provided, of course, that the marriage survived). I would say real adult life begins after marriage. Very difficult, very interesting. The first months and years of marriage are often described as a period of power struggle. Wrestling, of course, implies the presence of opponents, into whom recent lovers turn, and a battlefield (ring), which becomes the entire space of family relationships (see articles). There is another view: two different worlds meet, heirs of two different family cultures, and begin to create their own, new world,».