One of the main reasons why after 25-30 years we have difficulty changing anything in our lives is that we want everything to work out right away. I decided, for example, to start building a relationship with my husband differently and now I want everything to be the way I decided from tomorrow. Well, if not tomorrow, then at least in a week. But a week passes, then two, and things are moving so slowly and creakingly that you want to throw all your ideas to hell and give up. If you look at your past life, how did we start something new? When you first started school, the sports section, college, or your first job, were there a lot of mistakes? A lot of. But then we learned? Yes. Fast? No! More often than not it took time. The same should be expected now that we have grown up. It may seem that since I am such an adult, I should quickly cope with the next tasks and master new things. It seems so simple - since, for example, I communicate differently in my family. In the book (at the training, with the psychologist) it’s so clear how to do this. And if it doesn’t work out quickly, it means that the goal is not mine, or I’m doing something wrong, or I’m “crooked” and hopeless in this matter. Here it turns out that each of us has our own life, and even the same general formulas , how to change your life, how to live - no. All that remains is, through trial and error, to look for something new for yourself - a different attitude towards yourself, and towards others, towards loved ones, new forms of relationships, perhaps new goals in life. This new thing that is right for me must first be found. And then gradually introduce it into your life, changing what has been formed for years. And this is the second brake (after the fact that there are no ready-made formulas for how to change), its essence is that before it was much simpler and easier to change and learn new things. And now it’s harder (despite the fact that everyone considers themselves smart and strong). Habitual patterns of behavior have become so deeply ingrained in everyday life that you will have to work hard to root them out of your life. The solution is to remove from yourself and from your life the expectation that everything should work out perfectly for you right away. You can simply tell yourself: “I’m still a poor student, I’m at the very beginning of my journey, so I’m making mistakes and it’s logical that I’m not succeeding at everything - because I’m still looking for and learning new things.” Don’t expect quick changes. You have lived in a certain way for so many years that it is unlikely that you can change what you are used to in a couple of days. You can start by understanding what is good in my life and what needs to be repaired in my life. And then: some work on themselves, some continue to attend the necessary trainings, some go for individual consultations with a psychologist-psychotherapist. And gradually life changes. The key here is Gradually. There will definitely be changes, it’s just important to patiently continue to go in the direction you need to go (as you once patiently walked from 1st grade to 11th grade; from the first day of working as an ordinary manager to the day you became a manager), and that’s all you will definitely succeed, your plans will come true.FB_LINK