Not all couples manage to part on a good note. There are many such stories when family life ends by mutual agreement, but serious conflicts continue. Adults suffer and go through certain consequences - that’s one thing. They are responsible for themselves, they can help themselves cope with this. But there are still children who are unwitting participants in the games of adults. Perhaps one of the typical stories is when, after a divorce, the wife does not allow her ex-husband to see the child/children. Why does the wife prevent these contacts? The reasons can be very different. Some of them are reasonable, objective, and there are simply a desire to satisfy their Ego. Here are the most common reasons: 1) Fear for the psychological/physical safety of the child. For example, that the father will not keep track of the small child or will take him to another country. If he himself is drunk, he will set a bad example. 2) She is trying to forget her ex, she can’t bear any contact with him. She is trying to avoid contact and reminders in any way. Although he may not realize that he is depriving the child of his own father.3) The desire to take revenge on the ex. To take revenge, to hurt more in any way.4) They use the child as a tool of blackmail for their own benefit. Unfortunately, there are also stories when the mother manipulates contact with the child in order to get more money from your ex to sign over some more property. And we’re not talking about mandatory alimony, which he doesn’t pay, but about what he wants to get on top of that. 5) Doesn’t see readiness and interest on the part of the ex-husband. There may be such an ambivalent position, when the husband doesn’t particularly claim rights and often refuses meetings. She perceives this as a reluctance to see each other and moves away. Broadcasts to the child that dad doesn’t really want to see each other. What should I do? Here are some recommendations: 1) Study the legal side Know your rights. Don't let your ex do justice. Consult with a lawyer to develop an adequate strategy. 2) Consistency Do not retreat, do not give up after the first failure. Follow the assigned meeting schedule, if there is one. If not, then regularly remind yourself, offer options. 3) Moderate persistence Of course, you should not engage in stalking and frighten the child with excessive activity. But it is important to convey that you are serious and decisive. 4) Do not insult or openly criticize your ex. Do not cross the line, do not escalate the situation. Conduct a dialogue in a neutral format, if possible be moderately friendly. 5) Responsibility For your part, comply with all agreed conditions, pay alimony on time, stay in touch. 6) Do not show your dependence and obsession with this topic Behave calmly, do not try to arouse pity. Live your normal life. Otherwise, you will give a reason to blackmail you and put you on a hook.” 7) Confidential communication with the child The main thing is contact with the child. So that your children are drawn to you, trust you, so that they are interested in communicating with you. The older they are, the more they will decide for themselves.8) Involve friends and relatives, Of course, only if they are loyal, if I can play a positive role.9) Select a communication format that is suitable in your case Pick up the child through the grandmother, meet at neutral territory, adjust the time, etc. 10) Do not do anything that could be used against you. No threats, name calling, etc. Control yourself, be impeccable. Dear fathers, you find yourself in a difficult situation. Remember that the main thing is the child’s psychological health. Don't lose contact, maintain at least some thread. Remember that the older the child becomes, the easier it will be for you - there will be more chances for communication without the mediation of the mother. Seek advice. We will work with you to develop an action plan that suits your specific situation. During my practice I have encountered very different cases. Most of them are not hopeless. Believe in