Woman - know your place... First place on the pedestal of family life (Client's story ► Part 4) Hello, dear friends. Last time we ended with what I promised share with you a man’s opinion on the problem of a woman’s role in family relationships and answer the most common questions from my female clients. As you have already understood from past stories, the main problem of the female narrator is not only “everyday life” and melancholy, as it may seem at first glance. This problem is simply called - DEVALUATION. Devaluation of oneself, of course. This is perhaps one of the most common requests in my practice and it is expressed in the fact that a woman puts her needs and interests in last place. First the family, then she (according to the residual principle). The so-called “burnout” of a woman also occurs - this is when “energy” is at zero, chronic fatigue, “I don’t want anything,” a feeling of “hopelessness,” etc. This is also a condition that I I call a decrease in Feminine Value, accompanied by all sorts of violations of a woman’s personal boundaries - her requests are not perceived, and her desires are ignored, she becomes, as it were, transparent and invisible. This whole process can take place quite in a peaceful atmosphere of the everyday routine of affairs and troubles and comes out only when comes to the edge. Usually this is an emotional breakdown, hysteria and conflict, which goes from hidden to open with swearing and a showdown. In such a situation, there is no one to blame, but one cannot ignore the fact that husbands do not notice negative changes, even to extreme manifestations. And here, too, one should not blame men, since many people live in the paradigm of family mythology of the role of a woman in the family and simply do not realize that it is possible to live any other way. Mythology or life scenario goes back to ancient times, and I have no idea I mean, the notorious patriarchy, although, in part, he too. There are common assumptions that the man is the head of the house, he is the breadwinner in the family. She hunts mammoths and protects her family. And the woman is the keeper of the hearth and, excuse me, the housekeeper. In part, this is all correct and true. You just need to understand that the story of the caves is long in the past, and the role of the “hearth keeper” is a little distorted. I agree that a woman is our strong rear, which maintains coziness and comfort, but this does not negate the fact that the woman herself needs support, care, love and comfort. For many generations, it just so happened that the role of a woman in the family was in last place, and therefore was perceived as the norm. However, in reality, I am faced with numerous psychological female problems that are generated by such a life scenario. I can also confirm these theses with the example of your own family relationships, in which you are truly happy together with your wife. Of course, such an incorrect life scenario will not change on its own, and first you need to change the established position of a woman in the family. Firstly, a woman is not just a reliable rear support - she is the center family, its foundation, around which, like the sun, the members of her family revolve. This is not about a female dictatorship, if anything, but about the fact that a lot depends on the physical and emotional state of a woman. For example, just remember the common situation when a conditional Mom is not in a good mood - the children run in panic to the corners and try not to glare. Secondly, a woman is not just a “man’s friend”, but a wife, comrade-in-arms, chief vizier, like-minded person, and only then a wife and lover. A woman is subtle, a gentle creature who needs care from her husband and care from herself, and we’re not just talking about spas and massage parlors. Self-care is a whole range of measures: maintaining adequate well-being, physical and emotional state, maintaining a work-rest balance , the ability to listen to your body and react in a timely manner. On the part of a man, a lot can also be done: be more attentive to :)