Let's start with real requests, which in fact are not real, but fictitious by the clients themselves (I will explain their unconscious motive below). All data is veiled, no phrases, names or references to ideas about real people are excluded in order to maintain confidentiality. - My husband is going crazy, constantly whining, suffering, he doesn’t like everything in life - just pure negativity. Life with him is unbearable, because I love drive, communication, interesting people, study, development, but he doesn’t want anything and torments me with it. Next is a 10-minute monologue about how he is the worst of men. “My husband got me – he’s always drunk.” She works remotely, constantly sits at home and gives orders - it’s bad here, it’s not put together according to a ruler, it’s not so tasty, it’s not so beautiful there and I’m a complete fool who got it. And I’m constantly in trouble - running to work, taking my son, picking up from school, taking my daughter to a dance, running to the store, then preparing everything, and at night, when everyone is sleeping, washing. Next is a 15-minute monologue about how he cannot stand living together. “My husband is married to work, but he freed me from work.” I hired a nanny for the children and a kitchen and tidy housewife. His goal is for me to meet him cheerful and beautiful, always in a dress. But I want to live! Can you imagine? I can’t get a divorce - the children are holding me back. I am convinced that they should grow up in a complete family. At the same time, I already hate him. The monologue was very long, about the same thing in different words, and had to be tactfully whittled down. In such cases, psychologists have a tactful technique in the form of diagnosing the reality of the case and identifying the real request. It consists of one phrase: “I understand you very much, I sympathize with you and I can imagine how hard it is for you if you are talking about this - maybe it’s time to get a divorce and no longer torture yourself?” The answer is silence. This is a sign that the client does not want to get a divorce and, what is most unpleasant, does not want to change. The main goal is to come and pour information on a psychologist in order to free yourself from many grievances, but at the same time not take responsibility for yourself. Thus, it is important for women that the specialist assumes the role of rescuer according to the Karpman triangle, and that the husband and wife are justified in their roles of “victim” and “persecutor.” And this is an endless and timeless action. A self-respecting psychologist will definitely demonstrate and explain the effect of his phrase and refuse further therapy if the person does not want to work on the problem. The specialist who came into the profession only for the sake of money will be put on a “psychological needle”, i.e. will listen and listen. Yes, this is one type of therapy, but there is a limit to everything. Let’s think and think about it! Your psychologist, Katerina Agafonova