Friends, today we’ll talk about excuses.❗Excuses involve proving one’s innocence or rightness - “It’s not my fault, he came himself!”.❗A person forced to prove his innocence is under pressure from feelings of guilt or shame , provoked either by external circumstances or internal state.❗Usually we make excuses in such cases: 1⃣I’m guilty, but I don’t want to admit it;2⃣I’m guilty, but I hope to soften the “punishment”;3⃣Not guilty and I’m trying to get satisfaction.❗The problem is that an excuse often looks like as an attempt to avoid responsibility for one’s actions. That is, you behave like number 1, and at best you can count on outcome number 2.❗ Indeed, from the outside, the position of the justifier is a marker of the fact that we are trying to relieve ourselves of responsibility (“The thief’s hat is on fire”). For many, this acts like a red rag to a bull. As soon as someone starts to defend themselves, they immediately stop: “Well, that’s it, it’s good to get out!”, and do not listen to the explanation to the end.❗Manipulation is often built on this - we are caught in something with the specific purpose of causing a feeling of guilt. If they do this publicly, shame is added. It seems to us that excuses in such a situation are nothing more than an attempt to gain satisfaction. But those who are actually to blame usually do not indulge in explanations. They simply start to get angry and prefer not to explain anything, or they act on the principle: the best defense is an attack. A strong feeling of guilt can transform into aggression.❗Sometimes, out of doubt, the habit of making excuses for almost all of your actions is formed. As we know, any decision involves the abandonment of alternative possibilities. For example, you could spend money on a very significant family matter, but chose to go on a trip. “I don’t want to make excuses, but...” and then follows a stream of justifications for my choice. If you don’t want to make excuses, don’t make excuses.❓How often do you make excuses? From my blog: INSTGR_LINK