Salvador Dali said: “I felt the breath of death from the first breath. My parents said: “Wear a scarf, otherwise you will catch a cold and die like Salvador.” He was so afraid of death that all his life he was absolutely seriously looking for the source of immortality ("Salvador Dali. In Search of Immortality"). The artist was born on May 11, 1904. He was named the same as his older brother (the first-born of his parents), who died of meningitis on August 1, 1903 at the age of 2. If you pay attention to the listed dates, then we can assume that Salvador Jr. was conceived almost immediately after the death of his older brother. This is a common case - after the loss of a small child, you replace him with the next one, and do not give yourself time to grieve and say goodbye. Probably because living through this pain is unbearable. , because relatives tell the woman: “Stop grieving!” and she believes because she does not know how to build her own boundaries. But let’s look at the child who saves his family with his birth. He was conceived not because they wanted and were waiting for him, but to fill an empty place and ease the grief of his parents. Once on a social network I saw an expression of condolences to a pregnant mother who had lost her eldest daughter: “Let your baby be an angel for your girl!” An incredible burden on a child. Since the loss is not mourned, the next child is bombarded with parental anxiety “if only something doesn’t happen” - it firmly settles in his unconscious with the tag “the world is dangerous.” At the same time, love, care and tenderness seem to pass by, because they were not intended for him (“The mother of the baby Felipe Domenech immediately began to take care of and pamper her son [Salvador]. The boy grew up as a capricious and very wayward child”). If a child is a substitute, then he lives the fate of the one he replaces. An aggravating circumstance is naming a child after a child who predeceased him (there is such a person in my extended family). Therefore, for example, perinatal psychologists recommend going into the next pregnancy no earlier than a year after the loss. During this period, the woman goes through all stages of grief and says goodbye to her lost baby. Then she sees her next child realistically, separately, she sees exactly him. Something else. Often the next child is not told that there was a lost child before him due to miscarriage, abortion, missed pregnancy, illness or tragic circumstances. They generally try to forget about this difficult and sometimes shameful thing and never remember it. However, any secret causes tension in the family system, because there is a place for each member, even if someone left in the first weeks of pregnancy. And since the system strives for balance, this tension strives in every possible way to come out, reminding of the repressed - for example, through gynecological symptoms, situations (unconscious blocking of one’s own success out of guilt, “I was born, and you weren’t,” “I was born only because you died"), etc. - in children when they grow up, or representatives of subsequent generations.