And how should it be? Our walks with our daughter have changed qualitatively. Firstly, it became warm, and she was no longer wearing the heavy winter overalls in which she moved like an astronaut in a spacesuit, but a light jacket. And secondly, every time we go down to the first floor and pass by our stroller, she actively shakes her head from side to side, which means: “I don’t want to go in a stroller!” Now we walk. And for several days I had to work on my limited and stereotypical behavior on the street, namely: - walk straight; - go in one direction; - walk without stopping and without turning around; - go at the usual pace. At first, I myself was wondering how it would be now, and I completely accepted the situation as it was. Then we started going out for a walk in a certain direction, for example, to my mother, who lives two stops away from us. Here my patience began to run away, making way for irritation, which resulted in the phrases: “Dasha, we’re going in the other direction,” “Let’s go quickly,” “Let’s go along the path,” etc. I began to figure out what it is about me that makes me feel uncomfortable that my daughter is not going the way I want? There were a bunch of superficial reasons: I was tired, I had to be there by a certain time, I didn’t want to go into the mud with her... But then it turned out that I was just used to it, and it was hard for me to act differently from what I usually do. Before my daughter was born, I went out only with a specific goal: to get to a certain place. And she goes outside because she likes to walk: look at the newly emerging grass and touch the leaves crawling out of the buds, poke around in the ground with a shovel and look at the crawling ants, draw with chalk on the asphalt and get to know other children... She has a lot of free time attention, and she notices a lot of things that I don't see. And I go, as they say, “automatically,” with my limited stereotypical set of actions in response to familiar external stimuli. In psychology there is a term “being here and now.” Young children are still very good at this. They are still spontaneous and natural. For now, because adults from the moment of birth begin to teach them to live “the right way,” through a lot of suppressions, prohibitions, restrictions, punishments... Until the age of eight, a child has no reflection, introspection of his actions and critical perception of information. The child receives all information from adults about how to live and who he will be in the form of parental messages, without criticizing how adequate this information is, what is really useful to use, and what has no rational basis. And the child’s personality and his life scenario are formed before the age of six... On the way, we met a mother with the same little girl. Mom told her in a stern voice: “You went the wrong way again, now you’ll fall again!” The girl stumbled, fell and cried, receiving additional support instead of support: “Why don’t you listen to me, I told you so!” Maybe for some time this girl will try to fulfill her own needs, not her mother’s, going in the direction she needs. But, most likely, her mother will not allow her to do this, reinforcing the life scenario of a loser by imposing another ban. Today Dasha has not fallen even once, although she is already running quite briskly. Of course, it happens that she falls, but I know how important it is for her to hear that she is great at walking, and running, and even falling, and no one can do it the way she does it, because she is unique , like each of us... Together with Yulia Vasyukova