Dependent relationships are overly romanticized in works of classical literature, songs, films and are presented as true love: suffering, expectations, coldness in response, catching up and proving that you are not like that/not like that. We see and hear all this from childhood, and later we have no doubt that pain is a property of love. But this is not so, pain is a property of addiction. When you cling to relationships and feelings that bring you suffering, you cling to them, like drug/alcohol addicts who destroy themselves, but cannot help themselves. You flounder in this relationship, waiting for a “dose of emotions.” People who find themselves in such relationships most often do not have a formed and stable personality structure. Very often in childhood they were comfortable children, obsequious to their parents. Codependent relationships can be reminiscent of a troubled childhood environment, a lack of unconditional love, support and complete acceptance. Such people do not know how to use freedom, they cannot be separate and independent. They are overwhelmed by fears of change, loneliness, the future, uncertainty and instability (after all, in the same dependent relationships, at least there is understanding and stability - it is consistently bad/hurt). By leaving the relationship, but not living through this experience, you find yourself in a similar situation again and again and commit obsessive repetition. New relationships are again and again similar to the previous ones. For example, you meet cold and unavailable partners. You are trying to melt their heart, everything is fine, but suddenly they leave you, hurt you. And all your emotions come out: you suffer, you try to return everything, change (after all, you believe that you are to blame for everything), you decide to endure. You are hooked. But you suffer not because of your feelings for your partner, but because of your expectations from this relationship, because you are reliving your early trauma. Having lived your “trauma”, you will no longer fall for this hook. You won't go into a relationship like that. You will say to yourself “this is not from my life, this does not suit me».