This article is devoted to the topic of psychological sacrifice, what can shape it and what this sacrifice can lead to. Sacrifice as a behavioral strategy for overcoming stressful and traumatic situations, as well as a survival strategy. The main symptoms are self-pity, a pessimistic view of the future, a blaming position. Let's consider an example of a person who chose the role of a victim as a survival strategy. The girl was the eldest child, grew up in a complete family, but her parents often conflicted, argued and paid all their attention to to clarify their relationship. Subsequently, the daughter takes responsibility for supervising the younger children. Under such circumstances and the neglectful attitude of parents toward their children, the child may formulate the injunction “Don’t be a child.” Which subsequently leads to a lack of understanding of one’s own desires, an inability to relax and have fun, to rest. The girl took on the overwhelming role of a parent, a role that was not appropriate for her age. Which leads to a skewed child’s perception of himself and the world around him. She has not yet formed herself, an understanding of her personal boundaries has not formed, her own bodily sensations, understanding and recognition of her personal needs have not been formed. Here the injunction “Don’t feel”, “Don’t be yourself” is formed. All this can lead to a total merger (confluence) with those to whom she directs all her attention as much as possible. The boundaries between the individual and the environment are blurred, making it difficult to determine one’s own feelings and emotions, as well as the experiences of other people around. In a state of fusion, it is difficult for her to formulate her needs and understand what is personally relevant to her at the moment. In the future, she can no longer live on her own, live for herself. She will look for an opportunity, a situation, a system where she can dissolve in the life of another person or system. For a person for whom merging becomes a habitual way of interaction, separation causes great anxiety. He no longer knows how to be on his own, separately from someone. Later in their lives, people with confluence no longer recognize where they are and where others are; there are no boundaries. Such people feel needed and alive when they can take care of someone. When they become parents, they dissolve in their children, confusing their lives with the life of the child. They do not allow their children to grow up and become independent; they do everything instead of their children, and they themselves refuse help. At the same time, they can constantly lament how tired they are, or non-verbally broadcast their difficult existence, while the help offered to them is not accepted, rejected, thereby subconsciously they can tie their children with the help of feelings of guilt. Merging parents can “cause” good, they broadcast a lot of passive aggression, they can give their children instructions “Don’t live”, “Don’t be healthy”, “Don’t grow”, “Don’t be close”, etc. They may try to disable a person, escalate the situation, or exaggerate the situation. In order to remain in their system, which is so familiar to them, in which they are accustomed to living, in which they feel needed. They have a hard time letting their children into their own lives and can interfere in their children’s families in every possible way. Give unsolicited advice, try to be present in their lives in every possible way. Get involved in raising grandchildren. See them as an opportunity to continue your life, the life of the system. With rapid intervention in the lives of their children, the possible consequences are that their adult children stop taking care of their children and upbringing is transferred to a greater extent to them. Broadcasts of merged people can destroy families so that the old system is reunited. PS The growth and maturation of a child must proceed in stages. Every child should feel safe and protected. As you grow up, with the help of your parents, get to know yourself, study yourself. A child needs the support and love of his parents in order to realize his unconditional value and significance. Parents should help.