I have repeatedly encountered this question, and the dialogue with the client became decisive for me in writing a note on this topic. Today I received a call from my client (let’s call her Yulia), who completed several trainings and a course of consultations with me , coaching. Thanks to this, her life has changed dramatically, she talks about this at every meeting. But today, when she called, there was alarm and even indignation in her voice. She spoke a lot, and I could not understand what she wanted to say. Until the phrase was heard: Am I now unable to live without psychologists? I myself already know and can do so much! Am I going to depend on them now? - Does anything scare you about this? - Yes... - What do you think, do you depend on the hairdresser? Can you do without it? - I can, of course, but I still depend, my hair is more beautiful with it. - Do you depend on the dentist or gynecologist, cardiologist, doctors? - As long as your health is fine - of course not, but if If I’m depressed, then yes. - And this dependence doesn’t scare you? - No, for some reason, this is already the norm of life. - So what scares you about the fact that you will “depend” on a psychologist? Don’t you have a choice to use his services or no, the same as with the hairdresser and dentist? After all, you can cut your hair yourself and self-medicate. - Yes, there is a choice, but sometimes I start to get confused in my doubts and fears and reach such a state that I want to get drunk. (The client has experience with alcoholism, now she is in remission.) “So what kind of addiction are you really afraid of?” After a pause, she answered: “Alcohol, I’m afraid that I can’t handle it on my own and will go back there again.” In dialogues with different clients there were different answers. Behind the fear of dependence on psychologists, some hid a fear of dependence on men, and as a result they did not build relationships with men. Some were afraid to depend on their parents, and as a result they spoiled their relationships with their parents. Man in general is a dependent creature by nature. It depends primarily on oxygen, water, and food. Without them, he will not be able to exist physically. We depend on society, on the mood of loved ones, on the exchange rate of the dollar or ruble. And we live in this without fear or even thinking about it. But when it comes to addiction that harms our health, threatens the life or health and lives of our loved ones and relatives, then there is reason to think about it. And even here, everyone’s choice is personal. Returning to the dialogue with Yulia, I asked her: - When did you realize that you were afraid of returning to the active stage of alcoholism, how do you now look at psychology, still as a dangerous addiction? - Now I look to psychology as an assistant, because when I take care of myself, my thoughts and feelings, put them in order at trainings or in consultations, I don’t even remember about alcohol. Another client (let’s call her Olya) said that she was at a training, Among the participants was a girl who regularly visits a psychologist. And during this training there was a moment when that girl was crying. Olya was very indignant, telling this situation, she said: “Here is an example for you, when psychologists dragged a girl in, she goes to them, walks, carries money, but there’s no use.” - The girl told you this? That she walks around and does no good. - No, I decided so myself. I felt sorry for her that she “ended up” like that. - And where did you “get” in your life? Where in your life do you go, carry money, and it’s no use? - ...to the bank. - How many loans do you have? - There were three, now I’ve made one of them, but it’s worth 4 million... I really “fell into money.” This one The dialogue ended with the client realizing that she was dependent on loans. Trying to use them to solve problems that, in fact, only increase with their help. In conclusion of this topic, I decided to add definitions. Addiction is everything that a person constantly does to escape from an unpleasant reality. Moreover, such an escape does not change this reality. It only worsens over time a person’s experiences and his position in this reality. Psychological assistance is!