From the author: sexologist-psychotherapist, family psychologist. expert on television programs, member of the professional psychotherapeutic league, master of NLP, educational psychologist, specialist in the eastern version of neuroprogramming, specialist in personal well-being and family relationships, trainer, coach, esoteric psychotherapist. The author of more than 500 articles on a variety of problems, which you can see by looking at the *articles* section and, probably, this will already help solve your problem. The author of more than 100 training programs, which you can see by visiting my video channel on YouTube and typing “Afanasyeva Lilia.” As a psychologist-sexologist, I have to work with a variety of male and female sexual problems. Sometimes I come across some strange and unusual approaches to sex. This happens to both men and women, and serves as an additional source of their sexual problems. For example, an approach such as reluctance to have sex can at first glance be attributed to anorgasmia or frigidity. But what can serve as a source of women’s sexual problems, appear in some veiled version, let’s try to figure it out. Reluctance to have sex, of course, is a problem, but not everyone needs to solve it. According to the principle: if there is no desire, we can do without sex. But for my client from Moscow, this became a problem that she wanted to solve. When I, as a sexologist, psychotherapist and family psychologist, asked her to outline the situation, she said the following: “I’m going to have sex with my boyfriend - I go to the mirror , I look at myself, I understand that I am excited. I lie down on the bed, he begins to caress me, but somehow I don’t care, I would like to acutely feel this desire.” When I, as a psychologist-sexologist, began to find out what kind of relationship she had with the guy, the girl said that she is thinking about breaking up with him, because there were never particularly strong feelings, but recently, this reluctance has appeared, and besides, he was often overly aggressive. And, since there was no other young man “in mind,” we began to focus only on the girl herself. We had to sort out her personal problems so that they would not follow her into the next relationship. We left the question about the partner open. Finding out, in What is the main problem of her reluctance, I unexpectedly came across a children's story, which, at first glance, had nothing to do with sex, and was not directly the source of women's sexual problems. The girl said that as a child she began to imagine different things for herself, and she developed some obsessions. Sometimes they are also called “rituals.” For example: if I’m walking now, and at the fifth step I shake my head, then everything will work out, but if not, then nothing will work out. Such conditions are quite common for many people. This is also called “obsessive-compulsive disorder.” They may look different, but their meaning is usually the same. Once, on the subway, I noticed a man who was walking along the platform and stopped at every sixth step (apparently he had his own thoughts about this in his head). Sometimes, this is a sign of mental illness (when I was doing internship in one of the psychoneurological dispensaries, I saw such people), but in our version, fortunately, this was not the case. Many people exist with such “rituals” and treat this more simply, without betraying an excessive degree of importance. For example, in a simpler version, such as: “Spit 3 times over your left shoulder,” or “when a black cat crosses your path, what do you do?...” And since she was used to these “defenses” that helped her survive in this world, they didn’t just leave. Now the moment has come when the desire for sex has gone, and these obsessions have taken its place. And the more she fought with them, the less and less the desire for sex became. When we started looking for where the client’s “desire” was located, it turned out to be outside her body. And, since it was a certain.