Woman on the cross... This image is like a challenge, like the apotheosis of suffering, raising one’s suffering, self-denial to the level of holiness, like a moral victory over the offender. Why a woman, and not the usual image of Christ? Because among women there are many who are ready to sacrifice themselves both for the sake of the common good and for motives that lie deep in the unconscious. Self-destructive behavior is not always dictated by the intention to suffer in the name of the common good. Often it is one of the forms of punishment of those who did not accept, rejected, did not love - usually a father or mother. During a consultation, a woman may say, for example, “no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to earn the love of my father or mother, they still choose others over me.” Remember how Christ on the cross turned to his Father: “My God! My God! Why have you forsaken me?”? If a child grew up in an environment where he was not loved or was told that there was something more important than him (the interests of other people) or where he was paid attention only when he was sick and suffering, then he could develop the attitude to self-denial and self-destructive behavior. A woman can put herself at risk, neglect her health and safety: drink alcohol, drugs, smoke a lot, have sex with strangers without a condom or sex that is not safe for life, for example, walking alone at night in dark and deserted neighborhoods, engaging in relationships with obviously abusive or problematic partners, driving at high speed, engaging in extreme hobbies, broadcasting behavior that provokes aggression in other people, etc. Self-destructive behavior, since it is often associated with risk, often leads to the release of adrenaline and endorphins, oxytocin. Negative experiences reach their limit and the woman does something beyond the common sense of an ordinary person. And at this moment she feels a surge of strength, energy, euphoria, sexual arousal, ecstasy. It's like a sip of water for a thirsty person. Gradually, a dependence on the adrenaline rush is formed. Calm relationships with “nerds” seem insipid and depressing. If this woman receives some kind of injury or finds herself in the midst of some terrible events, although she experiences suffering, she at the same time enjoys the attention and sympathy that is riveted to her. In addition to masochistic suffering, she receives sadistic pleasure if she sees that she has made her offender suffer. Perhaps his torment and anxiety give this woman an understanding that she is still loved, even sometimes when something bad happens to her. Psychoanalyst Otto Kernberg also cites the following as motives for masochism: 1. The motive is fear of pain and death. The masochistic personality copes with this fear by identifying with the aggressor: identifying with him, justifying his actions, causing pain to himself or others, the individual feels superior to everyone else who brings these troubles upon themselves or fears them. 2. A fixed reflex as a result of punishments that had an erotic overtones, or an adrenaline addiction that developed as a result of some extreme experience. 3. Many sexual fears and prohibitions during the development of sexuality, as a result of which long-term suppression leads to impulsive sexual contacts under unpleasant or dangerous circumstances. Exposing oneself to danger here acts as an act of atonement for forbidden desires. 4. Trauma resulting from the first experience of a love relationship with a cold, humiliating, rejecting, cruel partner. As a result, the coldness and unavailability of a man enhances the libido of a masochistic woman, while she devalues ​​loving, caring, available partners. In psychotherapy for such women, it is important to identify the trigger (automatic thoughts, emotions, bodily sensations triggered by her expectations, environment, ©