From the author: How did Alla Pugacheva sing? “My loss, you have been found, come quickly to your home, my dear!” Why do exes call and write? Let's think together. How long has it been since you broke up? How long have you been saying that life without her/him has lost its meaning? Six months, a year, two? Time has passed. You have licked your wounds, and your eyes are no longer filled with tears at the memory of that bitter experience. You even posted a funny photo on Instagram* and you feel that you are ready for a new romantic relationship... And then - both are here! - just now he/she appeared - your ex/ex. He sends sad emoticons and nostalgic soundtracks, writes depressive statuses - in short, shows how much he suffers - and suffers, of course, for you. That's it! My soul trembled, my heart sank, my breath stole from my throat with joy... In general, as in the song: “I met you, and everything that happened in the past...” - Beloved/beloved! I'm rushing to you on the wings of love!!! Stop! Rush a little later. Give yourself a little time to reflect on the situation before you rush into the cycle of new/old love. In the end, a small dose of paranoia and healthy cynicism will not do any harm, and they will probably be able to save you from unnecessary pain. Think about why he/she is writing? Why now? He saw your photo and realized WHAT he had lost in your face? Maybe... He/she probably thought that breaking up was a mistake, and wrote to you about it quite sincerely. Let's say so. But this does not mean that he is ready to start a relationship again. And even if you are ready, this also does not mean that the relationship this time will become harmonious and cloudless. It’s not for nothing that they say: “When you leave, go away” - if it didn’t work out then, then most likely it won’t work out now. Old disagreements have not gone away, so they will certainly return - except that all this time both of you were not just “moving away” from the wounds of your former love, but were actively working with a psychotherapist and studying your “cockroaches”. But I repeat: even if it was a sincere regret about the breakup and a desire to start all over again, it is not a fact that this promises you a successful continuation. At the same time, it would be nice to remember that the reasons for his/her sudden appearance in your field of vision may be different: including not the kindest. Let’s say, he saw your happy face in a photo, and he was overcome with envy - the one he left you for is now pregnant and is drying out his brain, his ex-wife is racking up money for alimony, and at work he’s generally on the hook - not today - will fly out tomorrow. And here you are all so “in dolce gabanna,” but once upon a time you couldn’t fall asleep without his text message. It turns out that he is suffering, but you are neither cold nor hot! No, we need to spoil things for you too - so that life doesn’t seem like honey! But he cannot, in fact, say: “Why the hell are you, such a creature, enjoying life when I feel so bad?!” Therefore, he will write: “I accidentally came across our correspondence, and I realized: you are the best thing that happened in my life! I can’t believe that everything is in the past! (Sad emoticon)” Well, and you, of course, will believe him... Another motive is especially often used by girls who claim to be femme fatales, that is, those for whom everyone is dying, and they ruin everyone’s life. Do you remember how she told you that you are not a man, you are a weakling. , when you begged her to open the door and threatened to do something to yourself? You really almost did something stupid... But, thank God, everything went away like a bad dream... “But what is it? How are you? I miss you so much! (offended emoticon).” Or suddenly she urgently needed help, and NOBODY, no one except you, in this soulless, cold world will take care of a lonely and such an unfortunate soul!!! Why is she doing this? She just needs power! She wants to be a queen. And the queen must have a retinue. So you are given the role of retinue. Your task is to serve. And run at the first call. And when they say: “Get out!”, don’t bother, whine quietly and wait for mercy. And then you decided to forget her! No way! She will remind you!!! But.