From the author: This article was written with the consent of its characters. Now the couple is divorcing, but doing it without pain and scandals. And at some point I caught myself thinking that a divorce would only benefit them... For many of us, our favorite domestic comedy is “Pokrovsky Gate” by our beloved M. Kazakov. Do you remember how Kostik, a graduate of the Faculty of History, looking at the harsh pressure from Margarita Pavlovna, said the following phrase: “... and believe the historian, it is IMPOSSIBLE to make you happy against your will!”? Sad as it may be, many families face the problem is precisely female pressure, and quite harsh and sophisticated. When counseling couples who are on the verge of divorce, I try to paint an objective psycho-emotional picture of the marital relationship. For example, a family has existed for more than 10 years, the spouses are 34-35 years old. Elizaveta (name changed) is active, purposeful, proactive, holds a leadership position, and is flexible. Igor (name changed), on the contrary, is slow, phlegmatic, unsure of himself, occupies an ordinary position. We return to those distant, romantically beautiful years of their nascent relationship... and the picture that emerges is not at all fabulous. From the very first days of their acquaintance, Lisa began to take initiative and behaved too assertively. Of course, the common interests and charm of the woman attracted the antipodean man. However, according to Elizabeth, it was not clear whether it was love or attraction, but “I really liked him and I used all means to develop the relationship, I wanted him to love me!” It must be said that the unconditional advantages of a woman include determination, determination and willpower. During the conversation, it also became clear that Lisa was aware that she was trying to forcibly influence the course of events. Igor, on the contrary, in those years thought only about studies and prospects for personal growth, was going to graduate school, and planned to go abroad for an internship . Being soft, calm, focused, somewhat inert, nevertheless, by the time we met, he also achieved certain victories in his professional activities. So, Lisa’s desire to get “object N” by any means was, of course, destructive in nature and initially did not contribute to the formation of trusting and deep relationships. However, soon after regular meetings and confidential conversations, Lisa managed to take Igor to the registry office. “I was constantly updating something in our relationship, trying to diversify our meetings.” As a result, Igor realized that he was in love. “However, I was not sure that this was love. I didn’t even think about getting married. I needed to develop and grow as a professional, but my family and small child obliged me to earn money.” A responsible, reasonable man faced even greater pressure from his wife. Igor’s complaints are quite understandable - excessive jealousy, expressed in checking the phone and the desire to isolate his spouse even from his parents, and Elizabeth’s desire to subjugate Igor completely and unquestioningly, of course, led to serious conflicts. But the biggest disadvantage for Igor was his personal and professional unfulfillment. “I had high hopes, but I realized that I was in some kind of labyrinth. Lisa constantly insisted that she earned more than me, that I was a nobody, worthless and mediocrity, and this hurt me deeply.” At the same time, Elizabeth could go alone or with a child abroad or to the sea without a spouse. When asked why without Igor, the woman replies: “Firstly, it all comes down to money. I wasn’t going to buy him a ticket with my vacation pay. And secondly, I just wanted to take a break from him.” So the couple lived for a little over 10 years . And to my question, did they feel the need to end the marriage sooner, Elizabeth said: “Yes, I understood that this was a dead end. And I understood that I didn’t love him. He was like a toy for me. And we also have a child! Although from “I didn’t want to get a divorce because of my principles,” and Igor noticed that he always felt fear of Elizabeth and