I'm not a robot

CAPTCHA

Privacy - Terms

reCAPTCHA v4
Link



















Original text

From the author: The article was published in the magazine "Medical Trend" #2, 2012. The first love in the life of a teenager. Adolescence is the most important period in life, from the point of view of personality development. This age, in its symbolic meaning, is akin to early childhood - both the first steps of a child, perceived with trepidation by parents, bringing the first victory and a sense of self to the baby himself: “it’s me, myself!”, and the first attempts of yesterday’s child - a teenager to feel like an adult are exciting and significant. After all, these are his first steps towards an independent, “different” life, in which there is much more “possible” than in childhood, and in which he himself has responsibility and the right to decide what is possible and what is not. “Adolescence... is the period when a person experiences a second birth” (Françoise Dolto, “On the Side of the Teenager”). An obligatory and normal manifestation of growing up, a constant companion of adolescence and youth, is falling in love or even “first love.” It can manifest itself in different ways in the life of your grown-up child - violently and demonstratively, with first dates, late returns home and other protest violations of the rules, or completely unnoticed by you and others around you - in silent experiences, dreams, outwardly quiet, but this makes it no less intense and stormy inside. At this time, it is difficult for teenagers to understand themselves, it is difficult for them to master the flurry of emotions and feelings that suddenly fell on them along with a changed body, and even more so, it is difficult to explain what is happening to them. Therefore, very often they act instead of words - and a previously obedient, intelligent child can turn into a stubborn teenager who challenges everything and everyone. Along with this, there are also opposite extremes, which perhaps looks even more frightening for parents: the young man becomes indifferent and withdrawn; in girls this is often combined with anorexia. Therefore, adolescence is also a test in the life of parents. During this difficult time, our children especially need us. They seem to test our love for strength with their antics. Falling in love as a teenager is very different from that of an adult, who puts many aspects into this concept - mutual understanding, affection, intimacy, sensuality, eroticism, sexuality and much more. For a teenager, this is most often a romantic feeling; at first it is even difficult for him to connect the emerging sensuality with the object of his love; the first love is rather a comprehensive feeling of happiness, life, joy, a completely optional element of which can be erotization and sexuality. To connect all this together, learn to control one’s feelings, sexuality, to please him or her, to be interesting to the opposite sex - these are the tasks that a teenager tries to solve during the period of first love. Both boys and girls at this time, first of all, learn to communicate, trust each other, study differences in the attitudes of the two sexes, they try to adapt to them, to find commonality. Girls experience platonic feelings, their sexuality is not realized. Girls have little idea of ​​the actual consequences and dangers of “seductive” behavior, despite their earlier awareness of sex education issues than in previous times. Therefore, short skirts and bright cosmetics are not a conscious attempt to seduce, but rather the result of the permissiveness and accessibility of the modern information field, a tribute to fashion cliches, the desire to appear more mature and, perhaps, the inability of parents to set reasonable restrictions. At first, boys also tend to share sexual sensuality and falling in love, but to a lesser extent. The integration of these aspects occurs faster and more pronounced than in girls. For both boys and girls, first love is a sublime, wonderful feeling, full of intense experiences. If at this time no one and nothing interferes in the life of a teenager, such as: the annoying curiosity of adults, their condemnation or.