A 15-year-old girl is at the reception. Parents are divorced. Relationship with mother is difficult. Spends weekends and holidays with his father. Claims against parents, like most teenagers, who have already debunked and thrown off their bright image from the pedestal. Among the many of these complaints (they didn’t take them together, they didn’t buy them, they don’t understand, they bully, they oppress, they force, they press), it sounds: “If they didn’t need a child, why did they have one?” (tears). On the one hand, teenage maximalism, on the other, it is clear that not a single child likes the educational process (and most parents are so-so teachers). And on the third, listening to another story of another teenager, you can’t help but think - really, why do people need children? Going through a whole bunch of well-known answers in my head (from “so that humanity does not die out” to “children are our everything!”), I ask, “What do you think children are for?” Answer: "To love them." If you don’t go into details of the subjective understanding of the concept of “love,” then I agree. Yes, to love, protect, support, teach independence and release into the world - hardly anyone will challenge such a goal (convincingly and beautifully). But this is in words, but in deeds? But in reality, alas, everything is somewhat different. Next to my house in St. Petersburg is the district registry office. I pass by it every day, observing newlyweds (they are black and white and with flowers - more noticeable than those who come to get a divorce). According to my personal observations, a third of brides are pregnant at a time when this is obvious to others (I admit that there is still some part who manage to bring their partner to the registry office before the moment when the “crinolines” stop fitting). The idea that it was pregnancy, in this case, that provoked the creation of a family, suggests itself. Marriage "by chance" in times of accessible contraception has become commonplace, does not surprise anyone and does not raise any questions. Questions come later. After some time, (sometimes months, sometimes years), in a psychotherapist's office, (at best). The first questions I ask: “What did you expect from your relationship with your partner when you got married and started a family with him (her)? How did you imagine family life?” If with women it’s still somehow clear (“I thought he would settle down, (get attached, won’t go anywhere) if there was a family and a child”; “the age has come to give birth, and a child should grow up in a family”), then with men quite sadly: “We met, talked, but since it turned out that way - we got pregnant, then we need to formalize the relationship somehow (I’m not an irresponsible brute), and anyway it’s time to start my own family.” I don’t want to distort and generalize - there are people who love children in principle, who know how to handle them and get joy from it. But, like being at a train station, it seems that everyone is traveling, in a hospital - that everyone is sick, in a therapeutic practice - that children are being used. They are used as a tool to manipulate another person, to give life at least some meaning, for self-expression, etc. A woman’s mission by nature is to give birth and raise a child (and even a special instinct is provided for her - “maternal”). It is this instinct that gives a woman the opportunity to bear, feed a baby no matter what and become attached to him. This alone makes the existence of a woman meaningful at least for some time. Even if the child is only a tool, even if it was not possible to truly love him, this is a tragedy for the child and for the woman, but in any case she fulfilled her main task set by nature - she gave birth to a person. No matter how she raised him, no matter how much she compensated for her suffering at his expense, she carried him to term and gave birth, and can check the box - “I am a mother and my life was not lived in vain.” To this day, a woman who does not have children is looked at askance, either with pity - “poor thing, God didn’t give it,” or with silent condemnation - “selfish, lives only for herself.” Everyone without exception talks about the dangers of abortion - from the church to government tribunes. Social request on the face,)