From the author: This article describes the paths that parents choose when it comes to requirements. I tried to give a description and several recommendations for each option. For parents, their child will always be a child. No matter how old he is. Parents often contact me to make an appointment for a consultation with their children. Parents continue to look after their child, even if they are already boys, women, men. This is due to the parents’ lack of understanding of the growing independence in their child. “All difficulties and mistakes in upbringing can be reduced either to limited opportunities or to exaggerated expectations” N. Pezeshkian LOWERED REQUIREMENTS Can be observed in situations where an older child cannot find a life partner, a job, or establish contacts with his age group. They are controlled by parents, regulating everyday actions. And when a child takes actions to leave contact, parents manipulate their health in every possible way in order to return the matured child under their wing. So an adult child feels guilty, is forced to submit and give up trying to realize himself in society. Recommendations if you have chosen this path: Analyze your benefits from this path. Ask yourself: “What is the benefit for me? Why am I doing this? What am I afraid of?” Look at your life and redirect the efforts aimed at the child to another area of ​​your life. Analysis and adjustment in this case is difficult to do on your own. I recommend contacting a specialist. EXCESSIVE REQUIREMENTS Children are sent to school ahead of schedule. Parents say: “Let him develop among older people. This way he will have more incentive to strive for knowledge.” However, I would like to note that at this age the mechanism of achievement and overcoming has not even begun to form. And when faced with difficulties or without constant confirmation of his success, the child receives negativity and, as a result, demotivation to learn. This mechanism is reinforced and leads to sustainable behavior - not learning and not trying. Recommendations if you choose this path: Give sufficient rest for recovery, games . Remember that the child should have a childhood. When giving a task in the growth zone, remember that it should slightly exceed previous capabilities. Be consistent. Show by example how to do it. Have patience. The child needs time to familiarize himself with what he did wrong and find a solution. Encourage not only the result, but also his efforts. LACK OF CONSISTENCY This occurs when excessive demands are placed on a child’s abilities. And when parents themselves cannot keep up the pace to implement what they planned. When a child asks for help, the parents/teacher do not follow the chosen path and allow them to play or postpone the task. The child develops an algorithm of actions: “When something doesn’t work out for me, I need to do something else.” And often something else is an easy, non-developmental activity that has been studied and understood. Recommendations if you choose this path: Make a specific action plan and place it in a visible place. Celebrate intermediate successes. Give up feelings of guilt, because blaming yourself does not solve or change anything. Give your actions constructive feedback along the following lines: the situation; what prompted you to abandon the chosen path; what you did after that; what you will do next time, taking into account the original plan and goals. In conclusion, I would like to note that each path has its own difficulties and characteristics. It is important to understand and track them - then it will be possible to make adjustments. And this will allow you to avoid bottlenecks and anticipate the development of events. Good luck on your chosen path!