Often the question “What do you want?” women cannot answer not only quickly and clearly, but even more or less clearly. And if you don’t know what you want, how can you rejoice when you get it? In no way do I claim to be the ultimate truth. I offer to the respected reader my view as a psychotherapist on the problem of insufficient joy of life among the female population of my Motherland. There are too many gloomy female faces on the streets, too few smiles... Moment No. 1. In modern Russia, both boys and girls are raised - in the same kindergarten groups - in the same schools - in the same classes - in the same system - according to the same rules. And this system is male, and the rules of the game are male. Competition and achievement are encouraged. A good mood and goodwill, like other feminine qualities, are not valued and are not considered achievements. What is the result? The girl finds herself defenseless against physical force (the feeling of defenselessness gives rise to anxiety, suspiciousness, aggression...). Whom classmates - boys did not push, did not pull by the braid, or even worse. Who explained that a woman has a different attitude towards her body, not the same as a man? And the girl, in order to survive, adopts a male model of behavior, which is not characteristic of her by nature. “Give back,” but how can a physically weaker person do this? In a word. Thus, with which “...you can kill, you can save...” It turns out that from a very early age the education system teaches a woman and a man to compete, to compete, and not to cooperate. Who do teachers praise more? Girls. For what? For achievements, responsibility and other masculine qualities. People are not praised for their friendliness and good mood, not to mention their appearance. And a growing woman understands - In order to be loved and praised, I must achieve and win! There is great happiness if a girl has a loving dad, but what if she doesn’t? And no one says that men are different. And that competing with a man for a woman is obviously a false and dead-end path. For men, it’s not natural for women to compete in anything, like breathing. Being content and in a good mood is a woman’s duty, then everyone around her feels good and calm. Moment No. 2 A girl who grew up in a system with male rules is in wait for myths about family life that have nothing to do with real life: “Happiness is marriage as a fact” “It is not for everyone good, nothing, it will change” “The more I try, achieve and win, the sooner he will understand and appreciate” “If he loves me, he will figure everything out himself” And the TV series! And the books! “How to lure”, “How to keep”, “How to defeat a rival”, there are simply “masterpieces”, how about this: “The Bitch Goes Hunting”. Not only is the vulture a bird that feeds on carrion, that is, carrion, but hunting is considered a purely male activity. And nowhere: - How to inspire a man to do feats in his name - How to be happy, having what you have. - How to be grateful - How a woman can accept care and courtship - How a woman can live like a woman. Because living like a man is unnatural for a woman, and it cannot make her happy. And the woman is in a bad mood...you know. Moment No. 3 Unsuspecting men are thus appointed responsible for the happiness of women (making a man happy who doesn’t know what he wants is a task, however) Women brought up in a male model, for whom to compete with a man is the norm. Who might want to make a competitor happy? What can a woman raised by male rules do? Achieve and win! They were praised for this, which means it is good and correct. But they didn’t praise me for my good mood and friendliness, and just for the fact that I’m so beautiful and wonderful... And men have women nearby who are easy to get, and to live with them...you know. Men and women see, hear, breathe, understand, eat, get sick differently... Equality between the different is impossible. Simply by learning to quickly and clearly answer the question “What do I want?”, whether it’s feminine or masculine, a woman can change her life.- I want to have my own interesting and fulfilling life.