From the author: The only way to cope with envy is to recognize this desire in yourself and make it come true. They say envy can be black, white and green. However, in my understanding, there is only one kind of envy - resource envy. Despite the fact that envy is a very unpleasant feeling for me, to which, in my humble opinion, the words “a knife to the heart” are very suitable, I consider envy a very useful feeling and even an indicator of my direction in life. Envy is very similar to a bitter medicine, taking which you can free yourself from the captivity of illusions. [/url]Where does envy come from? Envy is a very narcissistic feeling, as it is actually hidden admiration. The narcissist cannot admit to himself that he admires someone other than himself, so he feels envy of someone who is superior to him in something. Envy never arises towards a person whose lifestyle is not desirable for us. Relatively speaking, if a woman dreams of baking cupcakes, then any successful woman in this field will be the object of her envy, while women who cook steaks perfectly will not arouse her interest at all. If admiration is legalized, then our heroine can easily learn the secrets of making cupcakes from the masters of this business, but if she cannot admit that someone can cook delicious cupcakes better than her, then she will inevitably feel this feeling of envy cutting her heart. Very often you can find so-called black envy, when the object of envy is condemned and cursed by envious people. This happens because deep down the envious person cannot cope with ambivalent feelings: the desire to possess and the prohibition on the fulfillment of this desire. And then the envious person begins to scold everyone who fulfilled his desire. For example, a woman who deep down wants to seduce men, but has an internal ban on this, may condemn all flirts, and not even suspect that she actually wants to receive the same amount of male attention. Is envy a resource? Yes, envy is a resource, an indicator of the direction of life, as it shows what we are predisposed to. We may envy those who are already living the way we would like to live ourselves, but for some reason we are not yet achieving the desired life. Maybe we ourselves forbid ourselves to live like this, maybe we are afraid to live like this, maybe we don’t believe that we deserve to live like this, maybe we are very unsure that we can live like this, maybe we once missed opportunities and there are many more reasons for the lack of what we want in life . But the most important thing to learn is that we want to live the way those we envy live, and for such a life we ​​have all the opportunities, we just don’t use them for some reason. The only way to deal with envy is to recognize this desire in yourself and make it come true. How to use envy to your advantage? Firstly, you need to understand who and why there is envy. For these purposes, it will be useful to make a list of people and write down why exactly you are experiencing such an unpleasant feeling. Maybe this is some kind of character quality, maybe some kind of achievement, maybe some kind of knowledge or skill, and so on. When the list is ready, opposite each item of envy you need to write down how you want to add it to your life. It may take some effort to implement your plans, so it is important to remember that envy does not arise out of nowhere. Envy, like admiration, arises where we have not only the desire to live the same way, but also the opportunity to live the same way. Envy is also a resource because it shows our natural inclinations; we simply will not notice what we do not have a natural inclination for, simply because we are designed that way - we see only what is in ourselves.