Chemical and behavioral addictions do not grow on the field of human life by themselves. Addictions are already a consequence. The fact that a person suffers. The fact that he is in pain. The pain can be ten years ago or more, and the unrestrained behavior in sex, shopping, games, alcohol is today. You just have to deprive a person of an object (a loved one) or an object (cards, money, two guns...) dependence, how surely a wave of anger will rise within him. Anger is a defense against pain. It is an emergency emotion designed to protect a person from something they (may) not be able to handle. In the IFS concept, it is the fire department that “grabs the hose and puts out the fire” so that the entire person does not burn. Any means are good for salvation: distraction, forgetting, falling into a new addiction. But not in pain. Why do they think that a person cannot cope? Yes, all because this pain is old. And the painful event happened at the age of 1-5-7 years, when the nervous system was not yet fully formed, and the logic was lame. Or there was an event in adulthood, but of such a painful scale that there was not enough strength to survive it (accidents, emergencies, disasters...). And so the person grew up, and the parts through which the person was saved, withstood the difficult, continue to hold the burden of emotions inside. Because it seems to them that the person is still small and/or that the environment is still unsafe. These are very resistant units, knights in shining armor. They serve the main purpose: for us to survive. Yes, everything that cannot be dealt with here and now is isolated, repressed, suppressed. Sometimes it freezes in the hope that one day spring will come and it will be possible to thaw. But the traumatic experience does not actually disappear anywhere. Feelings “knock” back. They want to be lived out. So that that impulse in the body (fight or flight!) finds a release, so that it is not stored as tension in the muscles for years. Moreover, for a long time there was no one to beat and no one to run from. And then flashbacks happen or we “simply” step on the same rake. The body wants to release the tension. The psyche is afraid that a person will be flooded with emotions and he will not be able to cope. That's why she "invents" dependencies. Another way to distract a person so that he doesn’t look at his wounds, but continues to live. Yes, the goals for this are actually very positive - maintaining life. Addiction is like a cork with which a person plugs the source of his pain. It doesn’t seem like the internal fountain is gushing, it doesn’t seem to hurt. But the tension has not gone away. It needs to be released somewhere so as not to “explode.” People release tension in different directions, with varying degrees of benefit for the body, and life in general. Shopaholism. A way to get rid of money. Letting off steam through compulsive purchases that are not really necessary. There will be no money, but there will be something to worry about. It will be possible to worry about the next “how to make money” and not remember the childhood horror of how... (everyone has their own here). Overeating and alcoholism. Attempts to satiate yourself through the mouth. Achieve relaxation by loading your stomach with work or... Experience the pleasure of taste. Experience temporary euphoria. Relax in that place where there was a lot of tension, when mother’s breast was not nearby. It can be physical hunger or emotional. Not enough. Love addiction. Immersion in the person with whom it is SO good to be together! At the beginning... Because it is very calm, very safe (the body says: I can relax), and there is a feeling that I am “on the same wavelength”. With whom can a person feel so good and safe? When? Well, of course, in mom or dad’s arms. There is no place calmer and more pleasant. Island of safety and happiness. I want to be held in my arms!! The call of those who lack tactile contact. But the need for touch is just as important as the need for acceptance, for example. One day my mother left. I wanted to be with her, but she was not there. It's uncomfortable. And for a small child it’s also scary. The next time she leaves, the alarm goes off: for how long? where? Then the young man leaves. To another or even just to work. And this makes it very worrying. Then)