I often counsel people in the area of ​​sexuality development. During the initial consultation, the moment of the client’s request for our joint work is very important. I often hear requests to improve the quality of sexual life, but what people mean by improving their sexuality sometimes has nothing to do with natural sexuality, this is a delusion of sexuality. In this article I will try to talk about the most common misconceptions on the topic of natural sexuality and its development. Because if we do not correctly determine the true motivation for working with sexuality, at best we simply will not achieve any results, and at worst, we will consolidate the neurotic pattern of behavior even more strongly. I share my experience so that everyone who, for whatever reason, cannot or does not want to develop this area of ​​their life under the guidance of experienced mentors can raise their level of awareness and now have a choice: to live as before, as it is easier, while living in delusions or take responsibility for your own development. So, sexuality misconception number 1: many, many, many sexual partners will make my sex life better. Men and women alike feel that their sex lives will improve if they have many sexual partners. Yes, at a certain stage of sexual development, diversity provides new experiences, a variety of states and experiences. But the goal and the means are confused. It is harmonious if the main task is to experience new sexual experiences, and as an opportunity to experience them - a variety of connections. But what I see is many partners for the sake of many partners, to feel in demand, that is, to increase their status. And status and natural sexuality are berries of different fields. Yes, in our society a man is a male if he has many sexual partners. But we either correspond to the socially approved image of a tough macho, or we delve into the essence of our natural sexual experiences, and yet we go for quality and not quantity, we learn to subtly feel our manifestations and our partner and treat partners as sources of joint pleasure, and not as to the retinue of making a king. Sexuality Misconception Number 2: If I get a set of effective techniques and seduction techniques, this way I will become more sexual. It only seems that some stages and sequence are important, but in fact, the states that you have are important. After all, women will perceive the same text spoken by Antonio Banderas and Jim Carrey differently. I won’t draw a diagram for you - this is a pursuit of simplification or some kind of secret knowledge, and not a sincere interest in one’s sexual manifestations. We can learn together: what qualities we already have, and which ones could still be developed; what in your relationship with the opposite sex will create a sexual context, and what in your behavior, on the contrary, will nullify such interaction. To do this, you need a thoughtful step-by-step study of yourself and the practice of interacting with the opposite sex; for this you need a sincere desire to learn how to interact sexually for mutual pleasure, without fuss and haste, without the desire to fit everything into one universal scheme. The third misconception of sexuality: I need to learn to always want, this will improve my sex life. Because sometimes we don’t want to, but so as not to offend our partner, we don’t refuse, or we didn’t really like the sex and you can’t tell your partner about it, so you want to do it in a way that you always like. There is no way you can generate a sincere desire within yourself, it’s chemistry, it’s an energetic experience, and it’s impossible to learn. But it is possible and even necessary to learn to follow your desires; if you want NOT to have sex, you can and should discuss this with your partner. You can learn to feel your desires, and learn to be sincere with yourself and with your partners. Raising your!