Questions to psychotherapist A. G. Danilin. Question: Good afternoon, Alexander Gennadievich! I have the following problem: my husband really wants a child, but I both want and don’t want at the same time. I don’t want to, for the reason that if I give birth to him, it will be akin to dooming him to suffering, the emergence of fears, some almost unbearable situations, cruelty. That is, by giving birth to him into this world, I myself will condemn him to suffering. Some say that the birth of a child is God’s providence, but then it turns out that God is to blame for everything. She herself already regretted her birth several times, but did not tell her mother. I don’t want her to worry. As soon as I planned the program “self-pity”, the questions correspond exactly to it...Have you yourself suffered a lot “in life of suffering, fears, some almost unbearable situations, cruelty”? older than you, and even then I can’t say “I suffered a lot of suffering.” You want to say: “Mom, give birth to me back - life, it turns out, is not a complete pleasure!” Who can decide for another person - how and what he will experience in life ?After all, dissatisfaction and tension are a prerequisite for satisfaction and relaxation. So, don’t blame God for your own selfishness and reluctance to “additional worries”! You must honestly admit to yourself (not necessarily to me) that this is exactly what we are talking about. Admit it - solve your problem yourself. All other reasoning is just a “protective case” - a “theoretical concept” that allows you to “feel sorry for yourself.” If you think about it, you yourself will understand that without caring about another being, life, sooner or later, becomes meaningless or joyless. This is exactly what God came up with... Perhaps you are simply not yet mature enough to understand the need to give your feelings in order to experience joy - for now, you want to receive. It seems to you that you have not yet “received enough” pleasures - this is what, most often, children try to blame their parents for. Everything else is banal: in this life, the main thing is to learn to talk honestly with yourself, otherwise you may be late and never catch up with your own happiness. My job is to warn you. Perhaps a video with reflections on how to properly feel sorry for yourself will be useful. I would like to remind everyone once again that this question is not a consultation. Everything I can answer to yours is advisory in nature. This is information for your own consideration. It is impossible to recover and, especially, to cure a loved one on the Internet. I can only suggest a direction for reflection! Remember that on the basis of such conversations, in no case should you refuse the doctor’s prescriptions!