Let's start with why it is needed at all? Anger gives us the energy to overcome any obstacles that prevent us from meeting our needs. It occurs primarily when someone has violated my boundaries and when I have not been able to get what I wanted. This is not something good or bad, it is simply a driving force that helps influence the world around us and adapt it to ourselves. But people react to their anger in different ways. Problems begin when a person does not feel his anger/ignores/is afraid of it and pushes it somewhere very deep. And in this situation, the risks are great: living your life not at all the way you want, infringing on your interests, adapting and bending to the desires of others, losing control over your behavior and exploding, destroying everything around you due to the inability to address your anger into the world, sometimes redirection occurs anger at oneself (hello selfharm) ruin relationships with others, disappearing from contact or spraying them with your passive aggression. Another consequence of lack of contact with one’s anger, which is very often heard in sessions, is fear of the anger of other people and all sorts of attempts to smooth out corners in order to avoid confrontation. “Well, how can I refuse to take out his loan on myself, what if he gets angry with me?”, “It’s easier for me to agree than to enter into this dispute, I didn’t really want to get a salary increase...”, “It’s okay that he’s 2 hours late, it’s only -40 outside.” Of course it’s scary! After all, the ban on showing anger becomes a ban on protecting oneself. And if I don't have a weapon, how can I fight those who do? I will be afraid of them and run away. I will remain silent and try to guess whether I will anger the people around me with my opinion. I will not show myself under any circumstances, because this may cause someone’s disagreement, dissatisfaction and hate. I will refuse good opportunities, because the more successful I am, the more likely I will have to take a blow and defend myself. How to regain such an important ability - to get angry? 1. First you need to learn to detect signs of anger in yourself and identify it. At this stage, we learn to pick up signals from our body: a surge of energy, heat, our tense muscles, heaviness in the head, clenched fists and teeth, noisy breathing. We notice cutting jokes, sarcasm or sabotage in our behavior.2. After we have learned to notice anger, it is important to realize the need that lies behind anger and find an environmentally friendly form for expressing anger. You can pay attention to those around you and find examples of how you can be angry environmentally, defend your position and interests, and practice doing the same. Gradually, the new way of expressing anger will become a habit. It is important to remember that it is normal to speak openly and confidently about your desires, to stand up for yourself, to inform others about your anger and the reasons for its occurrence, to ask them to stop unpleasant behavior. It is not normal to do this in unsafe, violent ways - to insult, humiliate, devalue, use physical force. Sign up for a consultation by calling +79990279027 Telegram/Whatsapp!