***We live by our needs. But the world, unfortunately, is not equipped to quickly satisfy them. Often you have to wait for what you really want. That’s when you already know what you want, how you want it, and the opportunity to get it is already flashing, but still this happiness of meeting your need with its object does not come. And there is so much excitement! You, like a hobbled horse, dig the ground with your hoof, ready to rush to the desired object. But no! We have to wait some more time, because the circumstances (blah blah blah and all that)... Here the most difficult thing is to cope with the excitement. It exists, and there is a lot of it, and something needs to be done with it. You can, of course, redirect it to something else. But there will be no satisfaction, since the other is not the object of this particular excitement. You can distract and entertain yourself, occupy yourself with some other important and interesting things that have their own portions of energy. Remember how with small children: “Oh, look what a bird flew!” And this energy, dominant, strong, has to be muffled and suspended during the waiting period. And here the most important thing is not to “kill” her. Do not freeze this excitement by making it non-existent for yourself, by abandoning the need altogether. Otherwise, if quite a lot of such foci accumulate, then the Ice Age begins. ***Psychotherapy helps not to get rid of unpleasant feelings. It helps you learn to withstand these feelings. And then they pass by themselves! ***Every person is lonely. Not in the sense of not being surrounded by people. Each person is lonely because he is unique. Which means there is no other like it. Everyone has their own “set” of events, experiences, memories, fantasies, people who influenced him. This means that no one will ever be able to know and understand you fully. And you will never be able to know and understand anyone fully. You've probably heard people, especially those in conflict, describe the same situation. How differently they interpret the same event. It seems that they were in different places. And with age, our essential loneliness becomes more and more obvious to us. It is difficult to feel loneliness. It's scary out of habit. And they can “cover” fear and despair. There is no one to share much of yourself with. There is a lot about you that other people don’t need to notice and celebrate. And you, too, are far from interested in all the experiences and events of others. And no one will “throw a stone” at a person because he unconsciously or consciously invents ways to avoid loneliness. And many of these methods have been invented. For example, fill your head with different thoughts, time with different things. Or “love” someone or something so much that you fill your whole life with it. Or start dreaming about Big and Bright Love. It may seem that you simply haven’t met a person with whom you will fit together in such a way that will save each other from loneliness. And people in this place begin to waste time and energy on longing and searching for that ONE. And they are disappointed not to find it. Or having found it, but then again realizing that he is not able to save you from loneliness, again, they become disappointed. Or they strenuously maintain their illusions. It is difficult to come to terms with the fact of loneliness, but it is possible. And then meeting every person who agrees with you in something, even if not very significant, turns into real joy. We may not find our other half, but we can bask in different sides of different people. Like penguins! ***A deep understanding of what kind of person each of us is is formed from early childhood. It is formed under the influence of the views of close adults on us. And the one who received the negative projection from the parent was unlucky. This is when your behavior is chronically misinterpreted for the worse. You're turning out to be kind of bad, although that's not what you wanted at all. You are trying to somehow resist this interpretation, you are protesting. But the catch is that this protest behavior of yours only serves to confirm what they think about you. And you find yourself in a vicious circle..