Colleagues and guests, I am pleased to present you a series of articles on the topic “male and female scenarios”. I will be glad and grateful for your responses. Snegurochka Love is care, guardianship and nursing (sick leave). She was the long-awaited and only child in the family. And she received an overprotective upbringing from an anxious mother with an emphasis on health. And as often happens, it is precisely what parental efforts are most concentrated on that fails. Already in elementary school, she developed a disease that required close attention and some restrictions, which were exaggerated by her mother. In the family, this disease became a cult and was beneficial for all its members. The maternal benefit was that it was now possible “totally justifiably” to keep her daughter under increased control and not reciprocate her husband’s feelings under the pretext of being busy treating this disease. The father thus received permission to stay late at work, have affairs, or drink during the week. And the heroine herself could abdicate all responsibility and not even go to school. In her youth, busy with her health and completely dependent on her mother, she did not learn to build relationships with the opposite sex and be independent. But tired of the regime and her caring mother, she may decide to escape and go “in all serious ways,” completely undermining her health through substance abuse. The scenario can then develop in two ways. The first is that she returns to her father’s house and “to the joy of the old people” lives with them all her life. Or she finds an overprotective man, onto whom she shifts everything that her parents used to do for her. A man is a servant, a man-nurse, who, despite the role assigned to him, will set restrictions for her, dictate conditions, teach her life and neglect many of her needs. But instead of gratitude, she feels contempt and chronic displeasure for him. After all, the situation of her childhood and youth is repeated again. And she again dreams of breaking out of this captivity. But she is still dependent and even more helpless. Therefore, I have to endure and get annoyed. And get sick. To feel significant at least for the period of exacerbation. In the drama triangle, he considers himself a Victim and can deny the fact that he often lives from the position of the Persecutor. Parental messages: Don’t be healthy Don’t grow up Stay helpless You won’t need anyone but us Don’t do Don’t feel Patience Games: Poor thing It’s all because of you If only... Paths of development: She is aware of her the role of the Victim and understands that despite the characteristics of her childhood, upbringing and diagnosis, she is the one responsible for her adult life. She learns to take care of her health and meet her needs as independently as possible. Instead of manipulating, she openly communicates her wants (and dislikes) and directly asks for help when needed. She works on developing her emotions, learns to make decisions, defend her boundaries and separate her aspirations from the needs of her parents. She decides to get an education (if she did not have time to do this in her youth due to illness and restrictions) and try her hand at some activity . She quickly begins to like her autonomy, although at times she is still afraid that something might happen to her if she does not listen to her mother. As an old habit, she is still attracted to Savior men who are ready to protect her from all the troubles and take on take responsibility for her life, health and finances. But over time, communication with such men causes discomfort in her and she wants an equal union, where she could not only take, but also give. She becomes interested in men who do not see her as a helpless girl, but respect and believe in her. Men who make her feel grown up, healthy and valuable..